I live to sing His song. :))

I'm back. AGAIN. LOL :)

2011-06-27T12:08:00.002+08:00

Just graduated. So what keeps me busy nowadays? Jobhunting. :>

I just realized how sweet a student life could be. I wish I could go back to being a student, asking my parents for allowance, go to school, sit back and listen to whoever's speaking in front of the class, then go home.

Now I realized how hard it is to find a job. Especially for a fresh graduate like me who is from a not-so-popular university. When I am interviewed and they ask me for my age, it's like they get turned-off when I say I'm only 19. Is it my fault that I accelerated for 2 years?

I'm just discouraged right now especially when I think how many interviews I've been to. It's like someone's whispering in my ear that I'm not smart or competitive enough to be employed in a company. That I'm still a kid with still may things to learn. I sometimes think of quitting, but I know nothing will happen if I did.
It may be cliche, but I know...

God has a better plan for me.

So I'll just hold on, endure this, and continue on with my life looking for a job.

Spread the HAPPINESS!

2011-04-11T13:17:00.004+08:00

Last week, April 3, 2011 to be exact, I made the decision to be JOYFUL all the time. I don't know either, but I seem to be crying and always down the past few weeks (even months?), still because of THAT reason. Being always sad can be tiring too. So on that date, after the Sunday Worship Service, I said to God that from now on, there would be HAPPY HEARTS, ALL THE TIME.♥

I just love this feeling!

"A cheerful heart does good like medicine."
A Bible verse from Proverbs 17:22

Whatever THAT is that's bothering me for a ~~looooong~~ time now and makes me cry for ~~almost~~ every night, I won't let it depress me anymore. True that I may not be able to move on from that situation immediately, but I'll choose to be happy. Being joyful is a choice. And from now on, I choose to be joyful.

And guess what? After a week of that decision, I'm not crying anymore because of IT, unlike before that I reaaaaally cry ~~a lot~~ when I think of what situation I am in. Truly God is so GOOD for I cannot do this on my own, only by His grace I am able to do this.

God uses time. Time HEALS. Thank You, God. ♥

Spread the happiness! Eat chocolates!

I missed this!

2011-03-20T19:09:00.011+08:00

WHOAAAH! I MISSED BLOGGING SO MUCH!

*SCREAMS*

What's up, everyone? This month is just the busiest month I have ever experienced in my life. Lots of things happened!

We:

finished our thesis,

had our defense,

took our final exams,

submitted the requirements,

took care of our clearances,

...and spent MY birthday!

Because of all these, there were moments that I wasn't able to come home for a week. Every night was an overnight! Thank God, it's ALMOST over. Only a few more requirements and we're good to go!

Ta-daaaaah!

We got the BEST THESIS award (out of 6 groups). All the sleepless nights (and sometimes... ~~bath-less~~ days!) were worth it! It's all glory to God!

Happy ~~19th~~ to me! Just like my debut last year, I received usually chocolates. They know I love it so much! Haha.

And those balloons that I'm holding? It's my ~~favorite gift~~. From someone whom I'm trying to repress my feelings. (Want to know WHY? Read THIS POST.)

I really cried when I saw that gift. A personalized one. My heart just melted. WHYYYY? I want to move on, please! You're now married. Stop making me fall, cause nothing's gonna happen if you'd continue doing these things.

Well anyway! I just want to be happy on the days and months (and years!) to come. Now, I'll just focus on graduating. And on deciding what career path to take.

What do you think? Should I become a SPED Teacher, a Clinical Psychologist, a Counselor, or an HR Manager someday?

Just GREAT~ :)

2011-01-24T20:42:00.004+08:00

Last week, we went with some of our classmates to UP Diliman 'cause they'll be doing their research there. If you guys all know, that's my dream school.

What I love about UP:

The FREEDOM.
Everywhere I look, there would be always that person walking alone. Cause in my school now, everyone's in a Block section so it's unusual to see someone being alone. I really love that, sometimes I just prefer having my me-time at school. :D

The ENVIRONMENT.

Who wouldn't be amazed at the 'green-ness' and abundance of the trees? Being a nature lover myself, I'd be motivated to study more if this is what's surrounding me.

And of course, who wouldn't admire the quality of their Education? We all know that it's one of the country's best, and I believe everyone, if given a chance, would like to attend that school.

I took the UPCAT when I was in 4th year HS. Unfortunately, even with the help of review centers, I did not pass. I felt really devastated, my dreams of studying there were now out of reach. Good thing I was able to move on, realizing that failing the test wasn't the end of the world.

Years after attending a different school (which is nearer our house here in Caloocan), God made me realize something. I now know that He has His purpose why He let me fail the entrance exam. If I didn't study here now, I wouldn't meet all the wonderful people in my life I call 'friends'. I wouldn't experience those trials and troubles that made me grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Everything really has a purpose.

Even though what I felt was really unacceptable to me then, when I look back now, I just thank God. I smile because it all happened. Now, I'll be graduating soon ~~(Batch 2011!)~~ but not in UP.

I just want to encourage everyone who feels that God had shattered their dreams. As of now, you may not see the logic in why it all happened, but trust HIM, He has His purpose. Someday you'll be thanking Him that He did not let you enter into your dream school, have that dream job, or marry that guy.

Random picture. Makakain na nga lang. Haha! :) Good day guys!

A melody's stuck in my head

2011-01-16T17:32:00.006+08:00

Just when I thought I was over you
Just when I thought I could stand on my own
Oh those memories come crashing through.

I really don't want to rant a lot about my love life here in my blog. In fact I've been avoiding that. But my heart is just full of pressure, ready to explode. Here in writing, I find comfort. ~~This is hard.~~ :(

I've been crying a lot these past few days, and I hate that. What did just happen? I am now fine. That's what I think I know. Then all of a sudden, all those memories became fresh again, like it all happened only yesterday.

How would I be able to move forward, if he constantly texts me? If he continuously feeds me with the affection which a girl craves? ~~Kulang na lang ang magsabi siya ng iloveyou.~~

I know it's ~~wrong~~ 'cause he's now married. No matter which angle you look at it, I'm the one who's at fault. I want to correct it, but I don't know how to start. And just a few days ago, I learned that 4 months from now they're going to have a baby.

Aaaah, Lord, help me. I can't do this on my own. Help me detach myself from him. I think I've become to attached, that's why I'm having a hard time moving forward now.

I'm just tired of crying.

So much hurt, so much pain. Takes a while to regain what is lost inside.
I know that in time you'll be out of my mind...
I'LL BE OVER YOU.

Busy days are here again!

2010-12-07T19:46:00.007+08:00

Our last and final sem at school had just begun. What do we expect? Of course, full of paper works, and a hectic schedule.

Our school's 106th Foundation day has just started to celebrate from December 2 - December 11. Even though we were not able to join in the fun anymore (just like in the past years wherein we set up a fun booth), it was a relaxing break indeed! Even for at least 3 days, we got to experience the rides ~~(Ferris Wheel, yung parang Flying Fiesta and Anchors Away and Worms(??)),~~ cheered up for our college (go College of Arts & Sciences!) in the Sportsfest, and cheered for another college (where our crush was playing basketball! LOL).

With our classmates. Naka-scrubsuit pa, mga absent naman sa OJT sa clinic! LOL.

We even managed to watch 2 basketball games of our SUPER crush B.C.R.C. from the College of Medical Technology, despite our hectic sked. Minsan lang naman mag-half day sa OJT ah.

You're so near, yet SO FAR.

And I already saw our graduation pictures! Yay! So excited to graduate!

I hope my skin complexion is just like in that pic! Haha!

To those who have already graduated:
How does it feel?
- Leaving the school you have studied and learned to love for 4 years?
- Leaving your comfort zone and entering a new world?
- Beginning a new step once again on another stage of your life?

I'm scared, yet excited to venture into the unknown.

I want this song to be played...

2010-11-17T23:39:00.002+08:00

...on my funeral.

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When your face is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus, or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine

This song is my current favorite. I can't even imagine the day when I will finally be in heaven, forever with Jesus.

How about you? Do you openly talk about death? What song would you like to play on your reunion with the Lord? :)

Best 2 days of my Sembreak. :)

2010-10-31T17:54:00.009+08:00

October 27 and 28 - The best 2 days of my semestral break. If only it could be like that everyday!

October 27 - Youth Summit II was held at CEC Central (Meycauayan), participated by different CEC churches (Valenzuela, Nueva Ecija, Marilao, Balagtas, San Rafael, Caloocan, etc.). We were assigned to do the opening Praise & Worship in the morning. I was (admittedly) ~~nervous~~ to sing in front of hundreds of young people, but glory to God! The singing was veeeery powerful!

That's us! And me ~~(wearing green)~~. The pitch was really high, I look like having a hard time singing. But still, all glory goes to my Maker!

Actually, the whole day was so blessed, especially the second part wherein Pastora Faythe Santiago was the speaker. At the age of 16, she began to do mission for the Lord and that's really challenging for us! She challenged us to quit the game of the world, and be God's disciple. After her message she asked for an altar call, and every youth was kneeling, praying, crying and lifting their hands to God. God's heart must have been jumping for joy at the very moment as He sees His children surrender His life to Him!

Faythe Santiago. She's such a beautiful and admirable disciple of the Lord. Very challenging speaker. :)

October 28 - 2 of our churchmates' advanced birthday celebration at Metrogate Subdivision Clubhouse at Meycauayan (double celebration!). The fun started at nighttime, with swimming, games, logic solving, lots of ~~food,~~ fun & laughter and an overnight at our churchmate's house. The unexpected thing - my crush from the other CEC church was also there... because our close friend from the said church is his cousin. ~~Yay!~~

It was the first time that us youth of FJC (our church) would be able to bond with him (since we're already close with his cousin who brought him at this birthday celebration)... and I really admired his personality. He's very easy to get along with - it's like we all have known him for so long. He's very cooperative and funny! ~~I think I'm falling further. LOL! JK.~~

So... this is him. :"> On our 2nd game (we're the GAMEMASTERS!) named Pigain Mo! Haha!

Before having our breakfast the next morning. Kuya Carlos (my crush's cousin), Me, Joy, My crush MARK (wearing white... ~~his smile is so cute here. LOL~~ and Badet.

Me, Nami and Him! :))
Bye bye! We're now leaving... this day was really fun!

So that marks the end of my 2 best days of semestral break.

How about yours? :)

imagination's the limit.

2010-10-20T18:56:00.013+08:00

15 years from now...

Today is a Friday. Whew! I am so tired, just got home from work. So many patients in the clinic today... ~~different people, different worries.~~

I hope I could go straight to my bed and just sleep the night away. But I still need to prepare a program for tomorrow's Team Building activity with my colleagues at the clinic. And wait - I also need to inform the Music Ministry about my song lineup for Sunday's Worship Service.

The next day - Thank God the Team Building activity at the park went out fine. So tired and dirty! I cleaned up myself soon as I got home - then went to church at 6pm. Hurray, my co-ministry workers are here. I was the most late person to arrive, ~~how embarrassing!~~ I remember the days wherein I was still a back-up singer in this ministry, and in this church with a 150 members only. Now, I am the music ministry leader in this Mega-church with 20,000 members... be it in the singing and instruments! I can't believe this talent would grow, thanks to God. Though my members now are new faces, different from my friends 15 years ago... but they still are anointed!

While we were practicing, I saw someone who suddenly went inside our church. I thought he looked familiar... it took me around 5 seconds to recognize this face! It's our music ministry leader 15 years ago (and my closest guy friend which I treat as a kuya). Waaah! I missed him a lot. It's also been 15 years since we got to see each other, and now he's back from Canada.

After the practice, we bonded over coffee and talked about everything that happened. I told him about my family - my husband and my children. He is thrilled to know who the guy is because years ago, I used to tell him who my crushes were. :D I also showed him a picture of my 2 beautiful children - Mark Adriel and Tiffany Angel. After that, he accompanied me home and he also went to visit his Mother and Father in Valenzuela City.

It was almost 11pm when I got home, my husband's been calling me but I didn't notice. He said he has good news, and as I got home, he was there outside our door. I think he can't hide the excitement in his face as he showed me a ticket for a trip to Paris for 2. I asked him where he got it, and said he's been saving money since the day he heard me say how going to Paris is a dream come true for me. Wow! Before I got the chance to ask, he told me that he already called his older sister and she'll be the one to look after our kids while we're away on vacation.

Our flight would immediately be on Monday. Good thing I have my own clinic, I am in charge of my schedule! :) Let's just hope that my patients would not look for me while I'm away (well it's only just for a week!). This would be fun... out of the country vacation with my husband! :)

So now, I'm gonna start packing my things and make some arrangements. I'm excited! :)

Haha. :) If only all the things there would happen. Well, nothing is impossible! Besides, 15 years is still a long time to accomplish all these dreams of mine. Just sharing! :)

10-10-10

2010-10-14T13:39:00.017+08:00

I just had an amazing 10-10-10! Though it's already October 14 today, oh well!

First of all, I woke up before 5am and we went to the airport to accompany my ate 'cause this is the day she would journey to Australia. And whoa... the prices at the restaurant really shocked me. Spaghetti with meatballs at 300+ php? That's insane! (I guess I'm just stingy... but it still doesn't convince me. LOL.) Her flight was moved at 8:45 am, so we were able to go home at 10am.

My next destination: Church. At 1pm I went there (without regaining my lost sleep.. Huhu!) to help with the anniversary preparations. It's our 10th anniversary today! Isn't it nice? 10th anniversary at 10-10-10! The event was held at Museo Valenzuela which was just walking distance away from our church.

Everyone was so busy. In designing the stage, arranging the sound system, and other materials to be used. Well, we were busy too! In fixing our hairs, putting sequins on our costumes and applying make-up! The result...?

...is a pretty stage!

...there are so many people too. I hope they would accept God's gift of salvation!

...during the Praise & Worship, a conflict arose which resulted in an abrupt stop of the singing. We were disheartened at first and a bit sad, but that just made us pray more! It flamed up the fire in our hearts to pray and pray.

...here we are... Ready to dance than ever for God's glory! (though I'm quite nervous! It's my first time to dance in church cause I always sing.)

...A picture with my new crush! LOL. He's new in the youth ministry so I just noticed him ~~not too long ago.~~ He's tall, and I think he's nice. During the testimony by one of our guests, he sat in the front with no one beside him. It's just amazing 'cause it's like he's so interested in the message. Almost all of the boys in the youth ministry are sitting in the back! And then after the anniversary, he did not take part in the picture taking but instead he helped in cleaning up the place. Awww.

...and oh. I was also shocked when he put his hands on my shoulder. Ganun ba ako kaliit sa paningin mo para akbayan mo ako? Helloooo... I'm 5'5! Hahahaha.

Even though lots of conflicts arose before and during our church anniversary, we could say that it was really successful. All glory to God!

More picture taking!!

Soli deo Gloria, Lord Jesus!

Welcome, Australia...

2010-10-10T11:13:00.005+08:00

I hope I could welcome Australia by myself. But it's my older sister who's gonna go there. I am so excited for her! We even took a video of their plane as it took off and flew. My parents and my other ate feels happy but a bit sad, cause as a family we're not complete anymore. That's why before leaving the Philippines, we took a family picture from Great Image Photo Studio. The images were really great!

Three Sisters!
Me (the youngest) Ate Jett at the top (eldest) and Ate Lel (second)

Formal family picture.

Wacky shot! (The photographer who took this shot was really knowledgeable in his field of profession. LOL)

Thank God that He lent me a family that is so blessed and closely knit. Even though one member is on the other edge of the world, we're still as one!

And it's also a good thing there's SKYPE!

Pahamak na blog. xP

2010-09-21T17:12:00.002+08:00

Guess what? I am sooo okay now. I never thought that I won't be crying anymore after his wedding. Thank God! Well, I do admit that I still think about him. But it's a good thing that I am not getting melancholic anymore when I think about that thing.

Well, I actually think that this blog is not private than I think. Schoolmates and even classmates of mine read my blog (I don't know how they manage to access it; I don't post the link on my FB account) and news has spread that HE has gotten married. Though I do not understand the intention that he wants to keep the news to a small circle of people only, it is still not right for me to spread that news. I hope it won't reach those people who aren't concerned. Geez!

Enough of that issue since I have gotten over it already.

I am just so joyful these past few days. God has been so good to me... I thank Him because His will is still followed in my life, not mine. If mine prevailed, I wonder how I am now? Maybe I am crying more than I did before. I may have cried some, but it's just because He saved me from heavier drama. I haven't seen His purpose at that time of darkness, but now I know why He let me experience that.

All glory to God.

Since you're already here guys, I might as well ask for prayers. Please pray for healing, there's a ~~bukol~~ on my back and I don't know it's cause. I'm kinda worried but I don't want to, since I can pray. Help me pray, please? Thanks a lot.

Working Girls! :D

2010-08-30T23:01:00.003+08:00

Greetings!
Hello guys! It's nice to be back after days of stressful events. Exams, thesis, practicum, name it. Now's the only time again to update my blog! Yay, I can finally visit your blogs too.

Busy-ness.
So we have just started our On-the-Job Training at Astoria Plaza. As Psychology students, we're assigned at the HR Dept. It's really fun there, though we get pressured at times. Just like real working girls! LOL. :) And I just love the part wherein we have uniforms too, just like this:

My emotes.
Sometimes, I wish that I will always be busy, because in those times I cannot think anymore about somethings. But no matter how many work I did, reality strikes at the end of the day and it reminds me that I could not escape those things.

At school, my friends keep me happy with their company. Then I hear myself saying, "I have finally moved on 'cause I can laugh again now." But when I see him, my heart states otherwise. I really don't know what to react. All I know is that it hurts a lot, and I can't do anything about it.

What's worse, my tears just fell in front of him. ~~OMGee.~~ Only the three of us (with our one churchmate) were there, when the marriage topic was brought up. Even though I'm in the circle of conversation, I started arranging some papers, making myself busy. I wonder what I should say, should I pretend that I'm excited and happy for him though I'm not? Good thing I was still able to control myself at the moment, but minutes later they were surprised I was already crying in one corner of our church. They were asking why, but they did not insist me on confessing to them.

It hurts so much, especially if it's coming directly from him. It hurts so much, when I see his excitement for that event. It hurts so much, because he doesn't know my feelings for him. He doesn't know that it hurts so much, it hurts so much. ~~Words just could not explain my sadness.~~

Another heartbreaking thing, the wedding will be done ~~two weeks from now~~.

One of my worries - ~~what if I just cried suddenly in his wedding??~~ Only one person in our church knows about my feelings for him.

Aaaah. This is just too hard.

I don't know how to be fine when I'm not.
And I don't know how to make the feelings stop.
- Just So You Know, Jesse McCartney

Tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry.
- Goodbye to You, Michelle Branch

Oooh. :(

2010-07-30T23:31:00.004+08:00

Sad, sad news.

Someone just told me that the guy I'm praying for, is planning to get married soon. But it's not yet sure. The guy's mom just told our Pastor to pray it over carefully because it's a major decision.

The moment I heard that, I don't know what to do. My heart is just pounding hard like it's gonna come out of my chest. Seconds later, I feel like I'm going to cry. Uuugh! I'm so not good in holding back my tears. Sabi nga ng classmate ko (kasi we're having an overnight that time at her house for our thesis), "parang kalabitin mo lang si Pao, maiiyak na agad."

Since the guy and me are really close, he knows me very much. He knows I'm sad right now. And I don't know how or what to react when he gives me advice! Well, what would you react if the person who is your source of frustration is also the one who's telling you to cheer up always? Isn't it confusing?

Anyway. I'm asking my friends. Should I give up now on praying for him? They said NO. Since probationary pa naman yung decision nila, LOL.

May only the will of God happen in my life.

BUSY DAYS! :)

2010-07-08T20:18:00.004+08:00

I am sooooo back! My mind is preoccupied with so many things that I don't know what to write anymore.

I also feel so sleep deprived this week. OJT has already started, lots of quizzes and activities at school, and most importantly, our thesis!

I've been actually planning to stock up on dark chocolates for this sem because I've read somewhere that it helps to reduce stress. Not only that, it also

stimulates endorphin production which gives us the feeling of pleasure,
boosts serotonin which acts as our brain's anti-depressants and;
contains phenylethylamine (PEA), which our brain naturally produces when we feel joy or if we're inlove.

Isn't that nice to know? ~~More excuse to eat chocolates!~~ My classmate Rizzi said, "ang hilig mo sa comfort foods". Yeah, I just love eating when I feel something. LOL, emotional eater!

My favorite dark chocolate so far. Cadbury Bournville! LOVE LOVE LOVE.

So a while ago, we decided not to attend our last two subjects (by our most favorite teacher... NOT! It's the opposite) to finish our thesis at our classmate's house. We managed to finish it (Thank God) and was able to go home at around past 8. Soon as I got home, I asked my mommy "what's for our dinner?" and saw that she's cooking Caldereta. Huwaaaa! I was just blabbering about it a while ago to my classmates on how much I love my mom's Caldereta and how I miss eating it so much. What a coincidence!

There's nothing much I could ask for when you've accomplished something, then you arrive home and find out that mom's been cooking your 2nd favorite ulam.. LOL!

~~(I just got back, and realized my re-introductory post is mainly about food. Hahaha.)~~

Sing sing sing.

2010-06-21T13:10:00.003+08:00

I just love to sing.

But I only sing at our church's music ministry.

I admit, sometimes I get inggit when my classmates get a chance to perform on stage at school. There's that longing, but I don't want to try. I'm too intimidated to do so. My classmates are much more of a pro when it comes to it... I might just fail myself.

One time when there was a program at school and my classmates again performed. As usual, I asked myself why can't I go there and sing for everyone? So that people would see that I have a talent also. I got sad actually. Then I felt God speak to me His message.

Then I realized... that God gave me this talent to use it for His glory. He spoke to me and asked me why do I focus on letting people recognize me for my talents? Why do I long to please them? Didn't He give this voice to me so that I could sing to Him and minister through Him?

It was through that moment that I made a vow upon the Lord. I just won't mention it here. God knows it already.

And last week, they were calling for auditions for the school chorale. My classmate went and some of my friends told me to go too. Though the longing is still there, I said NO. I want to stand firm to my vow with God. I pray that in the right time He will honor my faith through this decision of mine. It is hard ~~and sometimes painful~~, but I can do it with His hand guiding me.

Pre-hectic days.

2010-06-16T15:02:00.010+08:00

I think God is preparing me first before my sked gets hectic. There were lots of activities these past few days, and I know after this week I'll be focusing on my studies.

Ate Tin, Ferlhen, Keith, Ate Fai, Me, Joy, Thalia, Jha, Badet, Anime, and Mjane last sunday (June 13), after the 15-minute discipleship introduction.

Us again at that sunday afternoon, at Abigail's 1st birthday party! We chose to stay at the rooftop, masyadong mainit sa baba, haha.

Can I participate in the games now? LOL.

Then yesterday, (June 14, Monday) we had the CEC Family Day with many CEC churches from Central, Nueva Ecija, Marilao, etc. Lots of fun and games!

Before the Caterpillar game! Good thing I have my shades on, I have no problem on what camera to look at. LOL.

Me and Elaine. I want to jump at the pool because some of the youths were already swimming, but I did not bring any extra clothes with me. Inggit!

So I can't post anything as of now except for these pictures. LOL! And also today is my free day because Wednesdays are for my OJT but since it hasn't started yet, free day muna, so I'll make the most out of it! Tomorrow will be another long day - 7am to 7pm at school. Good luck! It would be hard, but ~~Kakayanin, sir!~~

Aaah. Shucks.

2010-06-13T19:22:00.003+08:00

Oh noooo.
I'm so confused.
I said to myself that I don't have feelings for that person anymore and I have moved on.
I was really shocked when that person texted me last night after a long period of no communication. Yes we do see each other at church, but when our eyes meet we're just like acquaintances. [Just a background - that guy was my past crush, and on the early months of 2010 he began to flirt me through text. Why did I say flirt? Well 'cause he doesn't act what he says. He always say that he would talk to me at church but he doesn't. He said he really likes me, but I know he just wants to have some fling-fling kaya siya ganun. Basta! It's really hard to explain, it's a long story.]

Then the thing happened. He texted me last night at around 12 midnight, but I said goodnight immediately because my feelings of dislike for him is too strong because of what he did to me (and he's aware of that! When I reply to him kasi, lagi on maldita mode. Nakakainis kasi siya.) He said...

HIM: "Ahm goodnyt din paola! Bsta I'll always be ur friend!"

ME: "Oh...Anu un parang out of d blue naman..bkt bglang ganun. :) d ko nagets, hehe.."

HIM: "Bsta ahm kc parang may mga pagka2taon n d ko alam f pano ko sa2bihin un talagang nara2mdaman ko para sau!"

ME: "Parang lagi naman? Hehe.. Nako bukas n nga yn m2log n kc ko e.. Out of d blue k naman maginarti, joke. :) ge gudnyt n po. Godbless u plagi!"

HIM: "Ok lang bsta pg dumating un tamang oras, sa2bihin ko n ng personal sau, kung ano talaga nara2mdaman ko para sau, n sana paniwalaan mo!"

That was his last reply at 12:33am. After that, I could not sleep! My mind is full of thoughts that I don't understand. I mean, why like that? I thought everything was over, the one that was between us. Bakit bigla siya nagtext ng ganun, and he's using another network pa. I'm a globe user, and he used smart to text me.

I'm just really really confused.
Do I still really like him or I just like the attention I'm getting from him?

Sorry for the post which is full of rants.

Classes again.

2010-06-08T19:56:00.010+08:00

Hi there!

Haven't updated for a while now. I spent my remaining vacation days being busy with the Harvest Moon game 'coz my character ~~(which I named JOEY, haha)~~ already got married to Karen, and I'm beginning to earn lots of gold already, LOL. Such an addicting game!

My wifey Karen tries to make me some food.

Classes just started for us today (Tuesday) so I really couldn't find the time to visit and comment to your blogs. Hopefully I could do it on my spare time.

The question is... would there be a spare time? I'm already a 4th year college student and there will be lots to do for us this semester. ~~OJT every MW, 6 subjects every TTh, 2 subjects every Friday, and a research that needs to be defended at the end of the sem.~~ And of course, there are lots of church activites too, like the Youth Fellowship every Thursday nights, Friday Prayer Meetings, Saturday Music Ministry practices and Sunday services. I hope I could survive! I know I could do this with God's help, I just need discipline and good time management. And I know what I need is to cut back on Facebook and internet use! It would honestly be hard, but I need to handle the first in my priorities.

I wonder what thesis titles would be good to submit? Hmmm. Any ideas? I'm a Psychology major BTW.

And yeah, I also got a haircut. Short hair once again! But different from the past cut I got last year.

I just love Jae Kyung's (from Boys Over Flowers) hair!

I will serve You while I'm waiting:))

2010-05-29T13:50:00.007+08:00

I just want to share this inspiring video which was shown to us during our Youth Summit at CEC Central last May 25-26, just after Pastor Rey Isaac's preaching.

This almost ~~(well, almost cause I tried to stop it!)~~ made me cry 'cause I can totally relate. I'm sure each one of us could relate to it as well! Just like the child in that video, I accepted God as my Lord and His mission for my life, and that is to "Guard the post" until He comes back.

As a child of God, we have our duty and responsibility, and that is to lead other people to Jesus. I remember one preaching that said: "Kung ang plano lang ni Lord sa bawat isa sa atin ay maka-receive ng salvation, bakit pa tayo andito hanggang ngayon? Sana kinuha Niya na tayo. Pero bakit pa tayo andito? Dahil meron pa tayong purpose na dapat ma-fulfill." But who said that it is easy? Being a Christian is never an escape to life's trials. Believers or unbelievers alike encounter tribulations in life. But what makes Christians different is that we have peace that comes from God in times like these. Peace that comes from God and not from the world.

In the video, the strong winds, the rain, and the snow symbolizes the trials in our life. I myself have been tempted to give up when I have fallen rock-bottom in my deepest trials. But just like the child, it doesn't really matter if we have fallen many times, what matters is that we learn how to stand up each time we fall! God would continue to give us strength when we are weak, and in those "rock-bottom" moments we experience and learn how to worship God deeply. Rick Warren in Purpose Driven Life stated that praising God in the midst of trials is the deepest form of worship. Honestly, it's hard to draw close to God when we feel successful, right? That's why He brings us to that point in our lives. You feel pain? Cry out to Him. He loves to hear your honesty.

Living in this world is never easy. But I know everything that happened in this earth will be worth it, and when the time comes that we will spend our lives in eternity with Jesus, may we hear the sweetest words from Him that says,

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

BUSY! :)

2010-05-27T12:26:00.009+08:00

I'm back! Just got busy with church activities in the past few days.

(May 22)
Saturday - Subic outing and water baptism with my churchmates at Ocean View Beach Resort. Yay! I put sunblock on but even though I did, still nangitim ako! Okay lang, I really love swimming so much, my original color will soon be restored anyway.

That's Elaine and ME! may sariling mundo. Ayaw kasi nila pumunta sa malalim eh, kaya kami na lang. I was scared at first cause I can't swim when I can't feel the ground but the water there is colder and much peaceful!

Bus picture while going home. Where am I?? There, at 4th row from the back! :D

'Twas a very tiring day.

(May 23)
Sunday - worship service was moved to 10am but we were required to go to church at 8am. Noooo I need rest! We still weren't able to go home after the service because we still need to practice for our youth presentation. Thank God it was successful because we were able to finish the whole presentation in one afternoon! Yeheeey.

(May 24)
Monday - One round of practice again nung hapon. ~~Mas matagal pa yung hintayan kesa dun sa mismong practice namin.~~ LOL! 4pm was the assigned time but we started at 6pm, and finished at approximately 15 minutes. Haha.

(May 25)
Tuesday - Youth Summit at CEC Central along with other CEC churches as well. (Marilao, Nueva Ecija, San Rafael, Caloocan, etc.) Another VERY TIRING day 'cause it started at 7am and finished at 9pm, and we had other duties and responsibilities as well, being the youth officers.

FJC Youths. Courtesy of Mark from CEC Central who took that shot - and my ~~NEW CRUSH~~ as well. LOL!

(May 26)
Wednesday - Youth Summit Day 2. Praise and Worship pa lang I could really feel God's presence na! What a great way to start the day though I really had a hard time getting up at 5am because my energy isn't restored yet.. good thing there's this praise and worship, enjoyable team buildings, anointed message from Pastor Al Termulo and ~~kilig moments.~~ JK! ~~Ang cute cute talaga ni Mak Mak! Kinikilig ako sa kanya! Haha!~~ Syempre bonus na lang yan sa pag-participate namin sa Youth Summit. LOL. We even performed a special number just before departure time.

My role there? Still the same - "Sis Pao (best friend)" Haha. :))

(May 27)
Thursday - Finally... my day off. So today I'm gonna pig out, kick back and relax 'cause there still lots to do tomorrow!

CUT OR GROW?

2010-05-18T11:24:00.005+08:00

I'm stuck with a very hard decision. LOL. I currently have shoulder length hair and it's kinda irritating. Should I cut it or let it grow longer?

THIS?

...OR THIS?

I myself actually have a stronger preference towards the shorter hair since IMO long hair is very common and it's boring and plain, but I'm just still confused. LOL.

ISOLATED?

2010-05-16T16:48:00.001+08:00

This fact just sinked-in to me recently:

Ako na lang pala ang single sa amin sa mga ka-close ko sa church.

Ahhaaaa. Not insinuating anything. Do I feel the pressure? Not really. Do I feel left out? Well, definitely yes.

Like for example, music ministry practice is over - or any other occasions that involve them - of course the couples [the drummer and back up singer, the usher and the back up singer, the bassist and the back up singer, the guitarist and the other bassist, and the song leader and his girlfriend who isn't attending our church] always talk together, walk together, then go home together.

Then how about meeee?

I really have no problem about it before because I have a companion before this nonsense - until not too long ago. My CLOSEST churchmate had this ~~so-called~~ MU daw ~~[which I doubt if it's really MU!]~~ At ayun, I can't help myself but feel ~~jealous~~ ... are friends really like that? They spend less time with you if they already have this special someone? I just hate it.

Yes I want what would make her happy since she's a very close friend, but why like that? Sometimes when the three of us are alone together I'd just like to disappear right there and then since I feel like I'm just a third wheeler, excess baggage. Abala ba ako? Okaaay. Then I'm out of this scene.

RANT. RANT. RANT.

Disappointed.

2010-05-11T12:09:00.005+08:00

What can I say? I'm very disappointed with the election results. I don't really have anything against the presidential race results, [except ~~what is Erap doing on the 2nd place~~??? What part of "imprisoned for plunder" do the people not understand??] but for the VP - Whaaat? Binay? LOL. He's such a big fat liar, saying that there's already no squatters in Makati. Duh? Haven't you tried looking around your city? I would prefer Mar Roxas to take the lead instead.

LOL. It's my first time to be this affected in politics. I really don't care anything about it except for now, maybe because this is my first time to vote. The experience was very haggard! Though we went to the school at 7:30 in the morning, there were already lots of people. After 2 hours, finally our votes have been casted. Ang sarap ng feeling after bumoto.♥

Nakakapagtaka lang, why are there brown outs all over the country? Even in the school where I voted, nag-brown out, and in many other places as well. Napaghahalataan namang merong something oh.

For the senatoriables, I was also shocked by the results. ~~Revilla~~ at number 1? ~~Jinggoy~~ at 2? What's happening to the country? What's worse is that ~~Sotto, Lapid, and Enrile~~ are on the top 12.

Oh well. I'm still proud to say that I voted for Gordon and Bayani thought they didn't win, kesa naman nagpadala lang ako sa survey results at binoto si Noynoy o Villar.

Hopefully the country won't suffer for another 6 years because of the wrong choices we made.

MAY GOD BLESS THE PHILIPPINES.

~~Everything I posted here is just my opinion. 'Kay?~~

BUSY?

2010-05-08T11:33:00.003+08:00

Here I am again. Can't update my blog much because - I can now go out! I'm healed! YAY!

Sorry to those I haven't linked up yet. I'm using my sister's laptop now and I don't like surfing the net much without a mouse.

By Monday, I can be back on bloghopping again! I'm just busy at church now. Our Overnight Prayer Meeting just finished at ~~3am~~ and I think I need to get some sleep now.

Anyway! I'm just happy because I can now see him. When we were chatting at YM before my chicken pox was healed, he said to me: "Treat kita sundae pag galing mo." Because he knows I love McDo's chocolate sundae very much. But 2 days has passed, and still no sign of the sundae! LOL. I kinda understand because there is no available time always for us. Wooo.

Well that's all for now! I promise to visit your blogs back soon!

SOON.

2010-04-29T13:01:00.005+08:00

Alright, my chicken pox is almost healed! WOOOO. Rejoice! I'm sooo excited to go out! I feel like I haven't been exposed to the outside world for years now.

What takes most of my time now is reading manga. ~~[Not the fruit!]~~ Manga = Japanese comics. And what I have read just recently really made me cry. As in literally! Good thing no one saw me while I was here in my room crying my eyes out. I really recommend Watashitachi no Shiawase na Jikan. Really, reaaaally sad story. Read it HERE.

And, I also posted a picture of myself in Facebook [even though I still have chicken pox on my face!] Here:

My caption: "Kung kelan may chicken pox, saka nagpicture picture. Okay lang... still beautiful for God. Hehe :D"

I was shocked because the day after when I got online, HE liked my picture. And two comments from him also! One was "amen!!!" [we're Christians, so... saying AMEN is like agreeing to what that person has said.] and the other one was "pagaling ka pao. miss ka na namin sa church." WEEEE. That made me really happy. But this made think: Why did he say AMEN? Does he agree with my caption.. that I'm still beautiful? LOL.

And another thing - he keeps on commenting on my posts. As in every post in my wall, he has a comment. When I tried the application "Who's you stalker?" or something on FB, he was the number ONE! Haha. I didn't publish it. I don't know, I just didn't. Nakakahiya naman sa kanya, baka tumigil mag-comment.

Goodmorning! :D

2010-04-22T12:03:00.003+08:00

All right, so I'm in a good mood today. LOL, maybe it's because I was able to chat and text him last night? Grabe, I want to say to him how much I miss him, but of course I can't, duh.

Anyway, I just want to share a video with you all bloggers. It's an old song, but it's timeless. It's entitled When God Ran. Pretty weird for a title, huh? You may think at first. But enough of the thinking, just listen! And feeeeel the lyrics as you listen to it. I hope you'd be blessed and inspired.

The first time I heard that song, I really cried. I can't believe God still reaches out to me though I'm trying *hard* to ignore His calls and such. What a loving God!♥

EDIT EDIT:

Since I got tagged by sis Moon-Kitty, edit ko na lang itong post ko. ^^,

1. Give a top 10 list of the things that makes you happy:

1. Summer Vacation!
2. Christian songs..
3. Anything chocolate!
4. Going to church
5. Singing
6. Able to text/chat/and talk with him :)
7. Being with my family
8. New comments on my blog posts, haha :D
9. All the blessings.. :))
10. Serving God :)

2. Give a top 5 list of trivia about yourself.
1. I'm an NBSB! And proud. hahah :)
2. I have chicken pox right now and I'm bored to death. LOL
3. I eat a lot! As in a lot than the average girl. haha
4. I wanna be famous for my alto voice range ^^,
5. I'm not fond of ketchup.

3. Share the award with only 5 persons and ask them to do the same thing.

Chai
Cheen
Marla
Shekinah
Deann

4. Link the blog of the person who awarded you.
Kitty!

If you got tagged, please highlight and press ctrl C to copy. thanks~

I miss them. :(

2010-04-19T13:25:00.007+08:00

God's servants. Us. FJC Music ministry. The guy I've been talking about my past blog posts is our leader - his name's JOEY. :)

I miss my churchmates.
They're more than the term "churchmates" for me - more like, my sisters and brothers in Christ. That's why I miss them uber much, it's still because of this ~~Chicken Pox~~. I'm still praying that this drying process would be quicker than usual!

Yesterday was sunday, of course there was this morning worship service. I normally don't wake up early especially if it's vacation, my normal waking time would be 10-11am. But yesterday, I woke up at 8am. The moment I looked at the clock, I suddenly remembered them: "Nasa church na yung music ministry." 8am is our usual sunday morning meeting time [because we're music ministers] but the actual service starts at 10. ~~Tinulog ko na lang ulit. LOL, hindi rin naman kasi ako makakapunta.~~

I woke up at 9:30am. My mom and older sis were getting ready to go to church. After they went out, I thought about them again, what they might be possibly doing as of the moment. I think they're already singing, so I just prayed in my room - thinking I am with them also since I am doing the same.

I never, ever, felt this sad because of some church thing. It's my first time not to attend the worship service again. I ~~cried and cried and cried~~ to God - Lord, dry my blisters quickly - I could not bear to be absent again for next week.

The saturday night before that sunday, HE texted me. You know who he is. :) It's our music ministry practice every saturdays and of course I wasn't able to go. 8:30pm, I received a text message from him.

"Gudpm! Pao kinakamusta ka ng team.u Kmusta n pkiramdam m? Bsta pray k lgi and magdevotion kay Lord. God bless lagi pao!!!"

I replied to him and told them that I feel much better now than yesterday wherein I felt dizzy because of my fever. And I told him: "miss ko na kau lhat jan at ung gawain jan." Well it's true. I miss them ALL, but I miss him the MOST. Of course I didn't directly say that I miss him. His reply?

"Praise God buti ok k n. pgaling k pao. Mis k n din ng youth and music ministry dito."

Aw. Hope I could attend the practice next saturday.

Huhu.

2010-04-15T19:49:00.002+08:00

Bad news!
I have Chicken Pox! And I SUPER hate it.

My face is the area with the most blisters, and it breaks my heart every time I look into the mirror. LOL. It's hard to move around because the blisters might pop and leave a scar. And I also have difficulty in swallowing - I'm really hungry right now but I can't eat because of that! A while ago, I almost had a blackout because I felt dizzy after I got up off my bed. Oh no, fever! And the worst part? I can't go outside.

Hopefully, this ~~deadly~~ ordeal would only last for a week. I've been praying for it. Besides, nothing is impossible with God.

Weekly update? :D

2010-04-13T12:53:00.002+08:00

Thanks for the comments you posted on my last post, guys. Anyway, I've just decided that I would say it to my one trusted and closest churchmate/friend. In fact we've already scheduled to talk on Thursday ~~[haha]~~ I've been praying for days now that this decision of mine would be right, and it's God's will for me to say this to her.

So much for that. Lemme tell you about one moment while I was riding in the jeep. An elderly woman with a child rode on the jeep, and said to the driver: "Ma! Makikisakay lang ho kami, wala kasi kaming pera..." tapos the woman in front of her ang nagbayad na lang nung fare nung matanda. Wala lang, it just made me realize that I am so blessed compare to some, and there are still really kind people around!

Eto pa. My family and I were inside the car, waiting for my mommy while buying something inside Mercury Drug. Then we heard shouting outside, and we saw a young man running fast [at tumawid pa sa EDSA!] and after him, a foreigner and his wife shouting at him. Na-snatch-an pala. ~~Ang bilis tumakbo nung bata, eh.~~ These days are really scary. No place is safe, evil works are everywhere.

Let's just pray that God will guide us everytime we're outside.

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. - Proverbs 29:25

I hate our net connection.

2010-04-06T12:51:00.002+08:00

I couldn't bloghop ~~ng matino~~ due to our internet connection ~~[nagbabakasyon din yata ang PLDT.]~~. So now, I'm using my ate's laptop which I don't like using since I prefer a desktop computer. My files aren't here! And it doesn't even have a mouse. LOL.

So... I suddenly got conscious with my blog posts since most of it are all about ~~love~~. Please bear with me guys! It's just so hard for me. Hmm let me explain.

The guy I've been ranting about below - the one whom I have a picture with - well, he's my CHURCHmate, our Music Ministry and Youth Ministry Coordinator. And at church, NO ONE knows my feelings for him. That's what makes my situation HARD. The only ones who know my ~~deep affection~~ are my friends in school. They know him since he's also a professor there.

But now it's vacation, I've got no chance to talk with my school friends. My routine for now is CHURCH - then bahay kaya I've got no one to release these ~~feelings~~ to, except for my church friends. And you, my blogmates.

~~Ang hirap pala talaga kapag wala kang mashare-an ng mga emotions mo.~~ It's hard to keep them by yourself! I'm thinking of confessing this to my closest church friend but I'm fearful of the possible consequences - kakalat kaya 'to? There was one instance - I've shared something to her. And months after, the news spread like wildfire. Well it's my fault na rin kasi, [not my friend's - she's totally trustworthy] since I think I became soooo obvious na we have a secret kaya nang-intriga ang iba kong churchmates. Hindi ko din natiis at nasabi ko din sakanila. Major LOL.

I need your opinion, guys. Should I say this to someone and risk the consequences? I think my friend has the right to know anyway [she knows ALL of me except this, and OH - she also has a crush on the same guy but just PLAIN admiration. ~~Meron syang special someone na iba eh. HAHA.~~]. I'm just scared of being found out.

SHOULD I??

What to do what to do?

2010-04-02T20:15:00.004+08:00

I've got nothing to do this vacation. [SIGH.] I wish I could apply to a summer job, but I have totally have no idea where and what to apply.

I also want to go on an outing but my next scheduled outing would still be on May 15 pa! Tagaaaal. Oh well, maybe I should just let my back totally heal first from the sunburn I got last March 23.

Guess I'll just pig out - just like how I spent my past summers. So my routine would be church-bahay. Church-bahay. Good thing I still have something to keep me busy 'cause we'll be planning and preparing for a one day youth retreat. You read it right! One day. That's why it will be much harder to convince the youths. This will be a challenge for us Youth Ministry Officers!

Well how about you guys? How are you gonna spend this summer?

~~I'm gonna kick stones out of boredom!~~

Hate this feeling. :(

2010-03-21T19:24:00.005+08:00

I'm gonna make this post short. No matter how much I would like to rant about what happened saturday night, I'll make this post short. Next time na lang yun. Haha.

Friday.
Inexcuse niya [you know who] ako sa class while we're having an exam. Nakakainis lang, at bakit kailangan pa iparinig ni Ma'am Jen sa kanya yung, "Kinikilig ka naman."

But I just shrugged it off. While we were outside, he said something about our prayer meeting in the church that night, that he might not be able to come. Hmm, okaay.

Moments later, may kinuha siyang something from his bag [or pouch] and I saw a thing inside a haggard plastic bag. LOL. He said, "Pagpasensiyahan mo na." and handed me it. A gift! ~~Maarti pa nga ako eh.~~ "Ano to?" then I saw what's inside. A headband.

I joked, "Ano to? Baka ito yung mga tag-sampung piso ah." [then I thoroughly opened the plastic] "Wow ang cute!"
Then he smiled.
Here is the picture of one of my most cherished gift:

Isn't it so nice? Na-appreciate ko talaga. But then, he has already given me a gift on my actual birthday celebration, a kikay organizer. I didn't really expect a second gift, and, I mean - it's PERSONALIZED! Even though I know he's not the one who made it [is there a guy who knows how to crochet?] I really appreciate the idea of putting my name in that headband.

I mean it, it's one of the most cherished gifts I've received for my 18th birthday. Am I bias because it's from him? LOL.

And why, oh whyyyy, does he have to give it to me. With what he's doing, it's just making me fall deeper. I wouldn't like that to happen, a situation wherein I'm totally swept away. ~~Hmm, am I just scared to love again?~~

Anyway. I really don't like to assume something in the first place. But I sought advice from my ever dependable teentalk community. I asked them what that might mean. Here is what they said [just click to enlarge]:

Hanzo23 is a guy teentalker. As stated above, he said he has already given a personalized gift and I asked him if he likes the girl he has given it. And yeah, that was his 3rd reply. ~~"Otherwise, I would've just picked something nice but wouldn't bother personalizing it."~~

How about you, guys? What do you think??

Again, I DON'T WANT TO ASSUME ANYTHING.

Celebrate. :)

2010-03-16T19:02:00.009+08:00

I have just finished celebrating my week-long birthday [according to kuya joey] this sunday. I could say it was really ENJOY!

First of all, I got to see my old high school friends again. Some of them I have not yet seen after we graduated from high school last March 2007.

And... I got to dance with him. Haha. Good thing isa sa mga organizers ko [na si AVA] knows I super like him - whereas my churchmates don't. Ginawa pa siyang last dance ko. May nakahalata kayang I like him? ~~Hope no one did.~~

My last dance. Tawa kami ng tawa. WHY? While we were dancing, syempre he's holding my right hand and his left hand on my side. And NANGINGINIG siya! Haha. Sinabi ko nga sakanya. Naku, nahiya siguro kaya tawa na lang kami ng tawa niyan.

Wacky pose with my college friends!

With my churchmates. :)

Him again. That was a game kasi, wherein may question and answer portion. The question he picked was: "Describe Paola in 15 seconds". Her older sister who was the one coordinating the game, hindi sinunod yung 15 seconds. After niya kasi mag-speak, "ano pa?" daw. Hmm, is there something? Well anyway, I love what he said.
"Siya na yung pinakamabait na taong nakilala ko."
"Napakahumble"
"Very sweet"
"Charming"

Parang hindi naman totoo diba? I don't know sa kanya. Then nagkatext kami that night. And he said that all of those were true, sa 3 years we have known each other. How touching!

Finally, isang matinong picture of us. Haha. We look so nice here! LOL, just kidding. That was moments after my debut, just before they left. He was with Nathan, at sabi "Kiss daw si Nathan kay Ate Paola niya". ~~Ikaw, hindi pwede? JOKE!~~ I'm just wondering - why is it when we take a picture, laging may batang kasama? First, baby Abigail and now, Nathan.

Bottomline: This was such a good night. ~~I gotta feeling...~~ Thank God that He let me experience this even though I really don't like being the center of attraction. Another great thing was, our moment didn't end when they left! Because we were able to text each other pa that night.

Tiring! But a day which is super worth it. Thank God. For everyone and everything.

HMMM. :)

2010-03-12T10:41:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt non-existent?

I do.

Well, I could say the opposite as of now.

I just turned 18 this Wednesday [March 10] and even though the greetings I've received were just simple, I felt very special. I dunno. I've always perceived and thought of myself as a ~~nobody~~. Yun bang people wouldn't care, remember or even ask man lang if I'm not there. And they don't bother remembering details about me. Kaya natuwa lang talaga ako sa lahat ng pangyayari these past few days. Greetings via text message, Facebook and personal ones overflowed. Saya saya lang talaga! Sana birthday ko lagi. Haha!

Special mentions:

Thanks to Christian, he greeted me kasi via text. We've never seen each other for a year or more now. Tinanong ko how did he know na it was my birthday that day. Turns out, nilagay pala niya sa planner yun. Tuwa lang ulit. Even small things like those make me really happy.

Pati kay JC din. We've never seen each other since we graduated from High School! [3 years??] Pero nakaalala pa rin.

Special thanks to my debut organizers! Ate Fai, Ava and their other accomplices. Wahaha. These guys are getting me nervous. I wonder what kind of program they have set up for me? Kakatuwa lang, by volunteering themselves to prepare a programme for me saking birthday celebration. Weeee. You may not see it by my affect [naks] but I really appreciate it guys!

Thank God for them! And for EVERYONE.. as in everyone who greeted me. You all made my day!

Hmmmm. I can't help it but to blog this part. Yesterday, around afternoon, I felt sad. Basta ayun na yun. I never told everyone about this kasi eh. At that time sa school, biglang nakasalubong namin si Kuya Joey. [the one whom I've been posting a lot below. haha] Malayo pa lang, he was already smiling at me na. Nung malapit na, he said: "Magpa-ice cream ka naman!" and my response to him was a smile.

That night, I texted him for the details about ~~tomorrow's~~ [tonight's] prayer meeting in the church. Eh di ayun text-text kami. He isn't sure about tonight daw since he has classes in MA but he'll still try to go. ~~Naku.. ako magpapakanta sa church mamaya. Sino na lang ang gitarista ko? Haha.~~

Gulat ako sa next text niya: "Oi bka naistorbo ko pagtulog m. Kamusta pla, ok k n b?"
Eh di sabi ko: "Ha? Ok naman po ako ah... bakit po. Hehe. :)
His reply: "Hmmm medyo tahimik k kc kanina.u Hapi bday uli!"

WOW lang. I smiled at him naman, but still he noticed the sadness in my eyes that moment. Hehe. TUWA AKO!

Nagreply siya uli. "Hehe k dyan.u dpat be joyful lagi!u bday wik natin ngayon, hehe!u cheerup lagi pao!u"

FYI: We have the same birthday. Isn't nice?

He made my night.

Thank you Lord for that moment.

And for a million joyful moments I've experienced in my whole 18 years of living in this world.

LOVING GOD.

2010-02-28T18:11:00.004+08:00

Today was such a joyful [even though tiring] day. Maybe it all started with the opening prayer in our church, wherein we prayed for at least 10 minutes [i think] but as we came to an 'AMEN!', I really felt bitin.I dunno, there was the move of God as we prayed. And thank God, He was with us as we ministered to His people and led the congregation in singing worship.

About Pastor's message, every aspect of it was anointed! Nakakatuwa pa, every now and then we were laughing a lot because of Pastor's punchlines.

YAY! Ate Fai offered to help for my 18th birthday next, next sunday. She will be the one to coordinate and plan for everything! I am so excited, though nervous for what she/they will do on my special day!

And now, we just got home from church and SM North. Super tiring! But still a worthwhile day.

I still have lots of things to kwento [especially the part about -- that ~~worthless guy~~]. But everything is too complicated to narrate. ~~Haha.~~ These past few days, the topics in the church are about the love of God, which makes us learn to love others. Kanina din, tungkol dyan yung sermon. I know, natatamaan ako. No matter how ~~insensitive~~ or ~~worthless~~ or ~~undeserving~~ he is in my perception, I still should learn to love him [as a brother in Christ, nothing else!] just as God has loved me. God has unfailing love to us even though we're stubborn sinners, but He chose to love us. Isn't that great?? And as His child, I know I should learn to love also those who are unlovable.

I just can't stop myself to feel annoyed when I think about him. Everything he did - para bang wala akong feelings, it's like stepping on my personality and he was expecting me not to feel anything about it nor be hurt even just a little bit. ~~[Seriously, I felt that way.]~~ Well, anyway. From now on, I would try to forgive him for ALL the insincerity [even though he's not asking for it] but in my heart, he's forgiven. [AW! Ang hirap sabihin. But I can do it by God's grace.]

Kanina nga, he was in church. In his usual pwesto every service [at the back, avoiding people]. There was still this ~~'bitter feelings'~~ in me towards him, and I was telling myself - "don't look at him. don't look." I don't want him to catch me looking at him then ignore him anyway.

Si Elaine nga after the service, sabi nag-Hi daw sa kanya [siya.]. My response was full of annoyance! Haha. I don't want to smile at him - even just a quick glance wouldn't do. In my mind I was thinking that after everything he has said and done, does he still have the nerve to smile at me or talk to me? Moreover, do I have the nerve to do that??

But as I have said above, I will really, reaaaaally try my best to apply everything I have learned from God.

Natatawa lang ako sa sermon kanina. The unusual phrases, words and examples Pastor used - halos lahat yun, yun ang ginamit namin sa napaguusapan namin ni ~~worthless guy~~ sa text. [all right, I wouldn't call him ~~worthless guy anymore, sorry~~] Super naka-relate lang talaga ako kanina! Haha. I hope he did too, and I hope he realize his mistakes from there.

Hay naku! Bakit ba napunta ang topic diyan.

I am sooo much excited for what will happen at the Overnight Prayer Meeting this Friday, March 5. I know God will again empower us and work in our midst and answer our prayers according to His will, all for the glory of His Name! SO EXCITED!

DONE. :)

2010-02-26T12:20:00.005+08:00

Finally done reading It's Not About Me by Max Lucado. It was a really worth read!

We are bombarded with the message to "look out for number 1". We all want to hog the spotlight to ourselves. So not biblical! If it's all about you, then it's all up to you. But as God's children, our goal is to bring back all the glory to our Maker, not to us. We are God's mirrors, and we become the reflectors of His glory when the things we do highlight Him.

Our message is about Him.
Our salvation is about Him.
Our body is about Him.
Our struggles are about Him.
Our success is about Him.

I just want to share an excerpt of the book to you, and I hope and pray you will be inspired as God's ambassadors.

Everyone in the [tall company] building worked for the CEO who officed on the top floor. Most had not seen him but they had seen his daughter. She worked in the building for her father.

One morning, she approached Bert, the guard. "I'm hungry. Go down the street and buy me a Danish."

The demand placed Bert in a dilemma. He was on duty. But his boss's daughter insisted. "Come on now; hurry up."

The daughter bumped into a paper-laden secretary. "Where are you going with those papers?"

"To have them bound for an afternoon meeting."
"Forget the meeting. Come to my office and vacuum the carpet."
"But I was told..."
"And I am telling you something else."

The woman had no choice. After all, this was the boss's daughter speaking Which caused the secretary to question the wisdom of the boss.

And on the daughter went. Making demands. Calling shots. Interrupting schedules. Never invoking the name of her dad. Never leveraging her comments with, "My dad said..."

No need to.

Wasn't she the boss's child? Didn't the child speak for the father? And so Bert abandoned his post. An assistant failed to finish a task. And more than one employee questioned the wisdom of the man upstairs. Does he really know what he is doing? they wondered.

I had been listening to this story recounted by the rabbi sitting next to me on the plane.

He begun this tale with the Third Commandment: "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain" (Exodus 20:7) Don't think language; think lifestyle," the Jewish teacher instructed.

His point was clear. The girl dishonored the name of her father, not with vulgar language, but with insensitive living. If she kept this up, the whole building would be second guessing the CEO.

What if the daughter acted differently?

Rather than demand a muffin from Bert, she brings a muffin to him.

En route to the elevator she bumps into a woman with an armful of documents. "My, I'm sorry. Can I help?" the daughter offers. The assistant smiles, and the two carry the stacks down the hallway.

She, through kindness and concern, raises the happiness level of the entire company.

She does so without even mentioning her father's name. Never does she declare, "My father says..." There is no need to. Is she not his child? Reflect his behalf? When she speaks, they assume she speaks for him. And because they think highly of her, they think highly of her father.

They've not seen him.
They've not met him.
But they know his child, so they know his heart.

Thanks to the rabbi, the Third Commandment shouldered new meaning.

May God rescue us from self-centered thinking. May we have no higher goal than to see someone think highly of our Father, our King. After all, it's not about [us.]

"Do you know how the story ends?" the rabbi asked as we taxied to a stop.

"No I don't. How?"

"The daughter takes the elevator to the top floor to see her father. When she arrives, he is waiting in the doorway. He's aware of her good works and has seen her kind acts. People think more highly of him because of her. And he knows it. As she approaches, he greets her with six words."

The rabbi paused and smiled.

"What are they?"

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

May God sustain you until you hear the same.

- MAX LUCADO.

GODBLESS.

FIREWORKS.

2010-02-22T14:50:00.005+08:00

Happy days! Last night we went to MOA to watch the Pyrolympics. We were just on the sidewalk, though. Infairness, ang tagal nag-start. It's supposed to start at 7pm but the exciting thing began at 7:35 PM.

Weeee. The fireworks were so PRETTY. Speechless especially the UK's finale. Watch it here:

People were yelling, and the voice you heard that screamed for "MORE!" was - right, me. Haha!

I wonder what's so spectacular and amazing about fireworks. In my opinion, they cost a lot and they even contribute pollution to the environment!

But then, I LOVE fireworks a lot. Kaya gustong-gusto ko kapag New Year eh. There's something about it that makes people scream for more and become like little children that just by watching fireworks, we become happy. I think that's one of life's greatest mysteries.

Bitin ako last night. Haay, Pyrolympics should be at least 3 hours. LOL. ~~Ang gastos nun!~~ :)

WEEE.

2010-02-16T20:14:00.006+08:00

Waa. I've been posting a lot lately and it's all because of lack of stimulus to release on.

Share ko lang ang kilig ko. Enough of the ~~bitterness!~~ I'll just look at the positive side of life! HARHAR.

I didn't expect that lots of people (well, 5 people are many for me already) would comment on that picture of ours. ~~WAA. Lagot ako pag nabasa niya.~~ Kakaiba pa naman yung mga comments dun lalo na yung comments ni Ava at Cedric. (^^Just click the pic above^^)

Nagcomment rin si Jocelyn Florin. (Her older sister, BTW) at buti naman her comment is harmless.

Truthfully, I don't like being teased to him especially if it's from people whom I'm not close with. If the teasing came from Ava, Jam, and some of my really close friends, then no problem with that. But if it's from someone who doesn't know the whole picture, I think of it as harmful. Especially to my churchmates - they don't know a thing about my feelings for him.

One example is from Ma'am Llarena.

SCENE:

We were at Room 204-B, almost the end of the class and not doing anything. Then suddenly HE passed by and excused me from the class.

HIM: Ma'am, excuse lang po kay Paola Quitalig.
Ma'am Llarena: *looked at him, and then to me, with the super smile and the silly face*
Ma'am with the WHOLE CLASS: YIEEEEE!

Gosh. I want to disappear right there and then. Never - as in never - have we been teased in public. That was the FIRST time. And I wouldn't want to happen it again. Good thing he just laughed it off and said that night, while we were talking on the phone (SUN users ata to):

HIM: Oi ano yung tinutukso ni Ma'am Llanera; hindi ba nila alam na mag-tito tayo?

Nag-agree na lang ako. Haha. GOOD THING - wala lang yun sa kanya. I'd die literally if he put some malice in there.

*Though I admit I got kilig.* LOL!

OUCHIES. :(

2010-02-14T18:59:00.004+08:00

Mygally! Loads of things happened in the past week but too lazy to type it all here. If only I could Ctrl+C everything I've written in my diary. But to summarize it all, last week was a combination of sadness and happiness. (It wasn't really SAD-ness though. 'Twas more of...(alright I'm gonna spill it out here honestly it's my blog anyway) ~~JEALOUSY!~~)

Thursday morning - jealous mode.
Thursday night - enormous happiness. Unexplainable, indescribable KILIIIIG.
Friday morning - kinda sad ulit. LOL.
Friday night - happy.
Saturday night - KILIIG.
Sunday morning - Yay we have picture na though he looks not-so-photogenic there.
Sunday afternoon - OUCHIES.

WHY?

Well, whoever wants the person they like being linked to someone? And I feel that someone feels something over him. I'm not so sure about HIM but I think he is just TOO NICE that's why he's still close with the girl. ~~*Sounds like a defense mechanism, eh?*~~ But hey, that's true.

Wanna see some proof? HERE. (I got this from a Facebook friend/classmate)

YIKEE. That user even posted in the description box,
"The coolest love team in MCU. May chemistry sila ayt??"

Can't say anything more.

Ay, meron pala.

Shocks! Too many to mention. Haha. I was so KILIG talaga with what he's done to me the past days. Wala mang nagli-link samin. Ok na yun. :P

Ugh.

2010-02-07T21:16:00.002+08:00

MAJOR UGGHHH.

My runny nose sucks. I hate this situation. My nose is already hurting from the constant wiping of the falling mucus. LOL.

Oh yeah. While I'm waiting for the pizza delivery, I'm currently downloading some Praise and Worship songs - assignment to ni Kuya Joey samin eh. Haha. I want to learn to sing them all!

Currently liking GOD OF AGES. (We sang this as part of our line-up sa church. Super anointed!)

You are the God who lives, You are the God who heals
Who are my hope, my everything.
You brought salvation to us, offered your peace to the earth
You are my Lord my everything.

God is MY everything!

Change.

2010-02-06T15:20:00.002+08:00

Change.

The only constant thing in this world.

Wala lang. (Hehehe) Just changed my blog header. (look up^^) I was supposed to change the layout and URL but I can't find anything that fits me. I'm still planning to do something else and something pretty but for the time being, just bear with my header. :D

Not about ME.

2010-01-31T21:41:00.003+08:00

It's a "me-centric" world out there, and today's teens are bombarded with the concept of "Life is all about you." Society has taught them since early childhood to look out only for themselves, so they are easily caught up in the mindset. Best-selling author Max Lucado helps to free teens from this dangerous trap and sets their sights on a different goal. By putting God and His glory at the center of their lives, "God-centric" teens will begin to live a fulfilled life of purpose and lasting contentment.

Finally bought the second to-buy-on-my-book-list. It's Not About Me by Max Lucado. I should've bought the number one on my list but turns out that there's no available stock. (Actually there's one - pero nevermind, haha. Binabasa ni kuya na nagbabantay sa bookstore eh.) I don't think I made the wrong move though. I was just starting to read the book but I can already feel the change and impact it will have upon my Christian walk and spiritual life. Another good thing about the book is that there's a journal at the back wherein you can write your thoughts and some things to pnder about the corresponding chapter.

How I can relate to it! Today's society has been telling us to always satisfy ourselves and feed our desires, that it should be first than anything else. Honestly I think that way sometimes, but I know it's wrong. One of my earnest prayers is for God to teach me to have a selfless attitude. If I prioritize my needs, always mine, I know I would never be contented. Only when I center my life on God alone, "God-centered" as the book calls it, will I find true happiness and joy! :)

I love how the author Lucado used the moon to compare us with.

What does the moon do? She generates no light. Apart from the sun, the moon is nothing more than a pitch black, pockmarked and boring rock. But just like by positioning where she is positioned to be, the speck of dirt becomes a source of inspiration and romance. The moon reflects the greater light.

And the moon is happy to do so! You never hear her complaining. Let the cows jump over her or astronauts step on her, she never objects. The moon is at peace with her place. And because she is, soft light touches a dark earth. :)

What would happen if we accepted our place as Son reflectors? What if you took that approach?

Your body? The world says, "It's my body, I'm going to enjoy it."
God-centered thinking acknowledges, "It's God's; I have to respect it."

You'd see suffering differently. "My pain proves God's absence" would be replaced with "My pain expands God's purpose".

But how do we make the shift?

We move from me-focus to God-focus by pondering Him. Witnessing Him. Following the counsel of apostle Paul: "Beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, [we] are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord" )2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV).

Beholding Him changes us. Couldn't we use a change? Let's give it a go. Who knows? We might discover our place in the universe. :)

-- It's Not About Me, Max Lucado

BE INSPIRED. :)

iMISS :]

2010-01-22T12:33:00.003+08:00

JR, Kuya Denny, Ate Fhai, Ate Cheng, Paola, Kuya Joey, Pastor Henry and Elaine.

I was just browsing some pictures in the computer and I saw this pic of ours just after Christmas Cantata. Nakaka-miss lang, and look, we're all smiles after the concert. Kaya lang yung iba hindi ready. Buti we're prepared!

I miss the nightly CHOIR PRACTICES though haggard!

"Halina, O Immanuel sa ming buhay
Kami'y puspusin mo ng pag-ibig
Kami'y turuan mong magmahal sa iba
Gawing tunay na ilaw ng daigdig..."

May choir pala ulit kami. Bingo nga daw si Kuya Joey kay Pastor, since almost none of us went to the choir audition nung Wednesday. Lagoooot.

INSPIRED.

2010-01-15T09:59:00.003+08:00

Wee. Lots of things happened in the past week. But anyway, lemme just share what happened last night.

Youth Bible Study at 7pm. Sabi ko pa nga kay Kuya Joey, "gusto niyo po 5:30 pa eh." ~~5:30 kasi uwi ko.~~ Kaya lang there was an on-call meeting for Psychology Society officers, natagalan tuloy. ~~'Twas okay though, 'cause there was a Burger Mcdo meal while we're having the meeting.~~ LOL. I arrived at around quarter to 7 sa church, Kuya Joey and Ate Cheng was already there. Mygolly, pinakanta pa yung STILL.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with You above the storm

Father You are King over the flood

I will be STILL and KNOW You are God.

At ayan, I started to feel ~~SAD.~~ Naalala ko lang kasi yung mga nangyari these past few days, my grades in school, my mommy's birthday wish. I'll just won't elaborate it here, but simply put, I didn't reach my expectations in my grades. That made me really sad. I'm applying for a scholarship this sem but from the looks of it, only God can make it happen. Talagang hindi ko ineexpect, especially the result of my one prelim exam. I was even confident when I took the test! EASY, swear. I passed naman, kaya lang it was not the grade I expected. Speechless lang talaga ako that moment.

Another thing that made me really sad, looks like I won't be able to take the scholarship grant for the succeeding semesters. Birthday ni Mother Dear kahapon, and we asked her what's her birthday wish. For my ates, about their work. And for me, magtuloy tuloy daw yung scholarship ko. Waah. Ang hirap, I can't open up to them how bad I'm feeling about my grades. I get sad from the thought that I won't be able to accomplish my mommy's birthday wish.

After Youth BS, kumain pa sila Elaine, Jr and Ate Fhai. Kami ni kuya Joey, umuwi na. Natatawa ko while we're waiting for the jeep to come, hindi kami naguusap. Then sabi niya, "Parang ang tahimik no?" HAHA.

Then while we're inside the jeep, he asked again kung okay na yung grades ko kay Sir Go. Tapos ayun, naopen ko halos lahat sa kanya (those things I posted above). I HATE it, naiyak pa ko. Nakakahiya nga. Syempre kasi, magkatapat pa kami non. Kitang kita niya ko. And isa pa, we're in a public place. Argh. Tapos advise pa siya ng advise, lalo tuloy ako naiyak.

Tapos pinapababa ko na si Kuya Joey. Hehe. Syempre kasi lagpas na siya sa bababaan niya. Ayaw pa, sabi "Sige sasamahan na kita hanggang sa Monumento" Aww. Advise advise pa ulit. "Nakakailang advice na ba ko? Dapat may Oreo sundae na ko nito bukas." Hanggang sa makasakay ako ulit, dun pa lang umalis. Sabi niya kasi, "Nandito na rin lang ako." Oo nga naman pala. Ang layo na rin ng nilagpas niya mula sa kanila.

Wala lang. I was just touched with that. Kasi naman in the first place if he didn't ask me about that thing, hindi naman ako magkakaganun. *Nanisi pa* Pero thank God, at least may nasabihan na ko nito. I haven't told this to anyone, nahihiya kasi ako. I was hesitating kasi kanina kay Kuya Joey, sabi nga niya "Mabuti na yung nalalabas mo yung mga ganyan..." Tama nga naman, pero nahiya lang talaga ko. But still, thank You LORD. At least I know there's someone praying for me, and willing to help.

WHOOEEEE. :)

2010-01-11T20:17:00.002+08:00

Forced myself to blog to release this kilig inside me. Too bad, I can't expose it here! I want to tell the whole world how much I crush you.

Minutes ago before I posted this blog, he texted me. There's something in his text that I don't normally feel - I don't know, the format's kinda different and the aura is kinda informal, unlike before when we text each other there's that formal tone. I'm really wondering why - ARGH. Curiosity kills.

Reply to me now.

Stuffed.

2010-01-07T21:19:00.002+08:00

Whew! So many food but so little stomach and so little time. Haha Truly I've been blessed with the ability to taste a lot of delicious foods. Yay.

Who among here besides me agree that *insert name of your favorite food here* are the best when given by someone you like? Naah just kidding, I mean when it's FREE. It's been a week since Kuya Joey asked me a favor and I willingly did it. Of course I did not ask for anything in return, kasi naman nakakaawa na si Youth Leader, haggard na haggard na because of school works. *iexpose daw ba dito?* So ayun he was the first one to say that he'll give me an ice cream in return. ~~*Dairy Queen!!*~~ But then, there is no proximal DQ place in our place so he offered another option - Oreo Hot Fudge Sundae from McDonalds. It's also one of my favorites, why would I resist it? LOL.

So at school we rarely bump into each other, so he just relayed the message for me to see him at the faculty room. At first he relayed it to Elaine (my classmate), and next, to a complete stranger. Haha! Gulat nga ako. Kaya siguro kung kani-kanino na pinapasabi dahil matutunaw na yung ice cream. So finally he gave it to me and this is my conclusion - Oreo Hot Fudge Sundae is the best when it's FREE!

Let's paint the sky. :]

2010-01-03T17:45:00.003+08:00

3rd day of the year. So far, so good. I know this year will be a productive one. Can feel it. LOL.

I really, really love the fireworks on the night of Dec. 31. Just like what we do every year, we go up at our rooftop and watch the beautiful fireworks by our neighbors and even those in the far away places (We can still see them!). And yay, they are all so pretty! It was a splendid, awesome show and it made me forget all of the things bothering me at the moment. Just like a child, looking at the fireworks made me happy and all that. Me and my cousins were like little kids who were jumping and yelling, "WOOOOW, ang ganda!!" all night I can really say "Thank You Lord, what a start of the new year."

Before 2010 entered, on the last saturday of 2009 Kuya Joey gave us an assignment - to list down all of God's blessings to us in the past year. And I found out that I had much more than I thought. I felt that God hasn't really blessed me but then, thanks to our assignment, I realized that I've had much more. The blessing may not be physical, but at least for the growth of my emotional and spiritual aspect. And of course, there are some things which made me cry ~~*for a while!*~~ but Romans 8:28 is just as fresh as Pan de Manila and accurate as the scientific calculator - everything works together for good to those who love Him. I may not see God working on my life at that time but now I know why He allowed me to experience all of it. ALL OF IT. Truly there is a greater purpose for everything. I can't complain. SOLI DEO GLORIA LORD JESUS.

YAY. :)

2009-12-29T19:19:00.001+08:00

It's the second week of the Christmas vacation and I feel like lots of things has already happened. I thought I'm gonna spend my 2 weeks here in the front of the PC (just like last year.) But turns out, I don't even have a chance to spend at least half a day here. What a jam-packed week! And I really feel blessed for everything.

Dec 21 - Psychological Society meeting at school and Victory Mall after :D
Dec 22 - Church Youth Ministry meeting for the Youth Fellowship :) *bought give aways at CLC!*
Dec 23 - Youth Fellowship! Super successful, all glory to God. :) After this, went to our house in Cavite.
Dec 24 - Arrived 1:30 (AM!) at our house. Even bought some shoes at SM Dasma. Lots of people with the Christmas rush! Sold out cake in Goldilocks. (Someone even called me while I'm shopping. AHEM who is he?)
Dec 25 - Christmas day. Traveled back to Caloocan and bonding with cousins that night. (First time I tasted Tequila Sunrise, Margarita and that blue thing.)
Dec 26 - Went to Tita's House in Bulacan (nanginain lang naman.) And music ministry practice after.
Dec 27 - Sunday service in the morning. Trinoma and SM North after, I even bought shoes again. *HIGH HEELS.*

-excited to use it.

Dec 28 - Youth Fellowship PART 2 at Metrogate Clubouse with the plans to have games in the afternoon, swim after and experience overnight at the house of the Alariao family. Swimming galore nung hapon (while the sun's hiding from the clouds) til the evening. Credits to Jee-Ar and Kuya Denny for teaching us to swim the right way. HAHA. And for teaching me to remove the water inside my ear. Nice! After dinner, we had a short devotion by the terrace (Super lamig. BRRR) and we didn't expect God's overflowing presence with us as we sing Thank You Lord and Heart of Worship. Tears of the youth members just flowed as we sing and pray, remembering all the things that happened this year 2009 and ALL the blessing that we sometimes overlook - we reflected on it all. It's so good to be in the presence of God! Nothing compares.

December 29 - TODAY. After a hearty breakfast at Ate Cheng's house (I ate a lot - now my tummy's aching) and moments of rest and bonding at the terrace, we went home. I'm lacking sleep because of Ralf last night! We were laughing so hard, him and Jha make a cute couple.

So tomorrow is the annual APEC in the Church. It's whole day, so wala na namang pahinga si inday. Goodbye, for now.

The Christmas Rush!

2009-12-25T16:52:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, Merry Christmas to all readers, supporters and lurkers of this blog! :D I'm back with my ramblings, but I don't want to post about my lovelife anymore. Tama na ang tungkol dun, nakakasawa na. HAHA.

Our family visited our house in Cavite on Dec. 23, 2009 after Church Youth Fellowship dumiretso kami dun. Our original plan was to spend the night there and leave immediately the next day but we all felt at home, kaya ayun, we spent 2 days and 2 nights there. If only we can spend forever in that place. :D Family bonding na rin kasi yun since there's no TV, radio and internet there. HAHA. The weather there was colder than here in Caloocan. We went to SM Dasma pa nga, I even bought some pretty shoes! :D Super dami tao nga din dun at naubusan pa kami ng Choco Roll sa Goldilocks. Tsk. :P

After 2 days and nights, we're back in this place. ~~*Sangandaan. Ugh.*~~ Get me out of here, puh-leeaaase? >:P

AYOKO NA.

2009-12-11T11:37:00.000+08:00

Ayoko na sa kanya.

I feel ironic... after posting so many things about him here, here I am suddenly ranting about how I dislike him now. I don't know why. After all the prayers ~~(not only mine but prayers of Ate Fhai, Elaine, and so on...)~~ and everything, no more feelings. Yay. I know this should be a positive thing. Pero kasi naiinis ako sa kanya e. He's not the man I think he was. Our own point of views in relationships are sooooo verrrryyy much different. Ayoko naman na dahil lang sa kanya, I will violate my principles. I want to stand up for what I believe in.

But I think this is a blessing from God. Because my prayer before was,

If he's not Your will, then remove these feelings from me.

And thank You Lord, You finally removed these childish feelings.

THANK YOU LORD FOR MAKING ME REALIZE ALL THESE THINGS. :)

**Just saying thank You Lord isn't enough! Lord!! You know how much overwhelmed I am right now!!** :) :) :)

I want to love you. :]

2009-12-01T19:37:00.001+08:00

Hopelessness strikes again. :P

Soooo. I'm really shocked with JF's text message last Sunday night. I sent him an inspiring message and I didn't expect that he would reply since he doesn't reply when I send hin quotes.

It was 11 in the evening, he asked me how I was. After my emo-ish moments (please refer to blog post below) ^-^ came the happy ones. I said that even though we saw each other that morning, I wasn't able to speak with him. There came his reply:

"Nagbatian naman tayo kanina ah? Saya2 ko nga nung makita kita.. :-)"

I was soooo shocked. Even though we've been texting these past few months, never did he mention or say anything like that to me. (And for those who doesn't know-I'm a NBSB so things like those shock me easily) :D Aaaah... If only I could say to him easily that I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM, after the long wait. :)

Monday was a Holiday (Bonifacio day) and I also didn't expect that he would text me in the morning. He asked me how was my day. (But the day is just starting out!) He told me that they were on the way to Meycauayan for a family reunion. Another text that shocked me:

Ui text ako mmya ngddrive lang ako, text ako agad sau pagdating namin dun...

Waah. *faints* Parang jowa lang. LOL. The reason that it shocked me is because in the first place, he has no obligation to text me so he can stop whenever he like. But with that text, it's like I'm his girlfriend. *Wahaha. Excuse me*

I wonder how he feels for me. But in the end, I still don't want to expect anything. :|

Confuzzled.

2009-11-29T20:22:00.000+08:00

So here's the deal. I have this special feeling for someone (though I'm not sure exactly what those 'special feelings' are... love or what?) let's just call him JF. We are CHURCHMATES and friends na rin, but we're not that super close yun bang as in we share secrets to each other but tamang close lang.

The last time we saw each other was June 28, 2009 (almost half a year ago) kasi yun yung last time he attended our church. This past few months kasi, he was living with his cousins in Fairview (we're here in Valenzuela...) because of some personal problems, so he lived there maybe to unwind na rin siguro and escape some of their family's problems. He had a PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) kasi that time so maybe it's safe na malayo muna sya sa source of depression sa bahay nila.

Eh di syempre I really, really, really missed his presence from June until now, December 2009. Nagkakatext din kami at times, nagshshare ng problems niya but syempre it wasn't enough for me, I want to see him in person.

Today, November 29 I was so shocked nung nakita ko sya sa church, finally my prayer was answered! No words could express how much joy I felt when I saw him walk up in our church while we were in the stage singing. After service, my church friends and I just talked to him tapos maya maya umuwi na agad sila JF with his family. Nakipag-high 5 lang siya sakin, pero hindi ko man lang siya nakamusta or nakausap man lang ng maayos. I was soooo sad and nagsisi talaga ako (na bakit naunahan pa kasi ako ng hiya at hindi ko sya kinausap?) nung makita ko silang palabas na ng church. Good thing, sunday afternoon may activity sa church (film showing) eh their family attended. Before the film ended I asked my church friend Elaine to help me na makausap ko si JF.

Eh di ayun na. After the film showing, we approached him. At first I was really nervous and kabado to approach him tapos I don't know what happened, parang sila na lang ni Elaine yung naguusap, ako walang pakialam. Yun bang, nawalan ako bigla ng gana kausapin siya. The thought, "is there anything we need to talk to or something?" runs through my mind as Elaine and JF were talking.

Hanggang sa pagbaba ni JF ng church, pauwi na sila. I told Elaine,

"Ang weird ng feeling ko. Bakit ganun? Biglang parang wala akong gana kausapin siya ngayon. Kanina naman, gustong gusto ko. Bakit nawala??"

Wala man lang kaba or anything. Basta walang gana na kausapin siya. Ang tagal kong pinagpray at hiniling kay Lord na magkita ulit kami ng personal, tapos ngayong nasa harap ko na sya, para bang wala akong pinagdasal na ganun? Eto na nga yung chance, kaninang umaga nagsisi ako na hindi ko sya nakausap ng maayos, tapos ngayong nasa harapan ko na yung second chance eh I just took it for granted?

Do you get me? Hehe. I was just wondering why I felt that way when I really like him?? What do you all think??

Bear with my rantings. I'm just confuzzled, and I don't know what to think anymore.

Expect and be FRUSTRATED.

2009-11-16T20:29:00.000+08:00

Actually I've been telling myself hours ago that I won't be shaken. My hopes will endure. 3 hours and 30 minutes left for this day to be over and I think that there's none of that hope left. ~~As the day ends, so does my expectations.~~

In the first place, maybe it was my fault that I expected something. Haaaay, ewan ko ba. I still want to think that there's still chance... wait, there's 3 hours more! :D

LORD. Help him keep his word. Help him remember what he said.

I have no right to be frustrated! No right to be sad and to feel this way! It was all my fault, all my fault. I should have known that EXPECTATIONS COULD BRING FRUSTRATIONS.:(

Melancholy.

2009-11-14T14:51:00.000+08:00

A fresh new start. Hopefully this will be a very productive and interesting semester... (sportsfest. yehey:D)

It was almost midnight when one person whom I didn't expect texted me. As our conversation became deeper and also the night, I asked a question which triggered him to open up and share his problem (Yknow who it is, JF:)) At first we just talked about life and such random things,... (alright I'll just make the long story short).

He said that he got drunk one night because of personal problems. I was, uh-- shocked? (To those who don't know why I'm shocked--we're Born Again Christians and getting drunk isn't something we do) I got sad that night because his replies always have sad faces, and I can really sense that even though we're far away (he's in Fairview living with his cousins-away from his family while I'm here in Caloocan), he's really depressed and needs someone to talk to. :-( So I gave him advice, told him that drinking is not a solution to problems and what he needs is someone whom he can talk to with anything under the sun. He replied that he has lots of friends but some were traitors. I didn't ask anymore what happened with his friends but instead just comforted him, sensing his deep need for a friend. I also told him that his family are always there for him and even us--his churchmates. His last reply-he told me that he's already ashamed of his stubborness he's showing to us despite our concern. ~~AWWW.~~

Recently he texted me once again then I asked him how he was now from the last time we texted. He said he's very much okay now, and he's already attending a church in Fairview even though he has no companion. Good for him, although I still got sad... ~~that means he would continue to stay there in Fairview and I won't be able to see him for a long period of time.~~

If only I had the guts to text him that I MISS HIM SO MUCH. I want to see you badly. The last time we saw each other was June 28 and what date is it now? (November.) :( If only I could see you again. Who knows when? For now, all I can do is wait and pray. My hopes aren't swallowed but I'll STILL continue to PRAY.

Why?

2009-10-06T20:23:00.000+08:00

Second entry for the day. HAHA, just wanna share. :D

SO there... I betcha probably know who JF is based on my past entries here on my blog. ~~He is the one whom my heart currently beats for. HARHAR.~~ What happened, last thursday nagtext sya sakin. Then this week, thursday he texted me na naman, which I got very surprised dahil very seldom lang sya magtext. So I got very kilig(as usual)! :D

Actually, I'm really VERY HAPPY dahil magkatext kami. ~~Besides, who does not want to be in contact with the one you really like?~~ Almost whole day din kami magkatext, though nothing special (i think) yung pagkakatext namin to each other. But I don't know... bandang hapon, magkatext pa din kami, pero I felt ~~BORED~~ while texting him. Still, hindi ko magawang hindi magreply since I don't wanna waste the moment na minsan nga lang sya magtext. :P I still strived to reply worthy messages just for the sake na maging magkausap kami. I wonder why I felt that way? I know I still like him. BUT, well... anyway. =/

Accreditation.

2009-10-06T19:39:00.000+08:00

Classes are back, after what typhoon Ondoy did. :P

All of our assigned projects were piled up, since our school won't be moving our final exams schedule after the suspension. Kaya haggardness ang last 2 weeks na ito! I hope we all survive. And not only that, accreditation week din ng college namin. Another reason to be busy!

Kanina was the moment of truth. :P Pinapunta kaming officers ng mga organizations and 5 representatives per section sa CAS sa Tanchoco Auditorium. At first we were all kabado talaga kasi baka iambush interview kami at tanungin, "What is the MCU Mission and Vision?" Pero nung nagstart na yung question and answer, ayun nawala rin kahit pano yung fear and pressure. :)

Sana naman, this time ay ipasa na kami ng PACU-COA for Level III accreditation. Help us LORD! :)

STRANDED.

2009-09-28T19:15:00.001+08:00

Iba na talaga ang effects ng global warming ngayon. Either sobrang init or sobrang malakas na bagyo. I hope what happened will be a lesson to each and everyone of us...

Well anyway! Stranded kami for 2 days and 2 nights sa church.
Friday, Sept 25. Overnight prayer meeting. Natapos yun 2 am na ng Saturday. I still have a class pa nga dapat... so natulog kami sa church at nagising ng 6am. Nakita ko ang lakas ng ulan, at nagtext yung friend ko na kahit hindi na ko pumasok, may special quiz naman daw sa monday. Eh di natulog pa ulit kami ni Elaine. We woke up mga 9 am na. I was thinking about going to school pa rin nga because I have a report sa 2nd subject ko na 1pm pa. Kaso nakakatakot na yung ulan, at tinext ko na rin yung prof ko na tinatanong ko kung may pasok pa. Ayun, thanks God dahil hindi ko na kailangan magpaka-haggard sa school, all-white pa naman ang uniform ko. :D

Kaso ang problema naman, gustong gusto ko na umuwi. Kaya lang nabalitaan namin na baha na pala sa BBB at wala nang makadaan na jeep. Stranded kami sa church nila Elaine, Kuya Denny at JR, tapos nawalan pa ng electricity. Nagkukulitan, kwentuhan lang kami don tapos nung bandang hapon we all prayed na tumila na yung storm at magkaron ng kuryente dahil church anniversary pa naman namin tomorrow. Si Kuya Joey pinasok na daw yung bahay nila, buong 1st floor at malapit na raw sa 2nd floor. Grabe while we were praying, talagang buong faith ako nanalangin and I cried out to Him for I know Sya lang ang may power over this storm just like what He did in the Bible. Tapos eh di gabi na... habang kaming girls eh tumutulong maghanda ng food for tomorrow, the boys were praying sa church. After that nga tumigil yung ulan, kahit pano. Ang problema na lang ngayon eh yung baha at kuryente. Nung lumalim na yung gabi, nagdecide na si Pastor na ipostpone muna yung anniversary since hindi rin kami nakapagpractice ng music ministry, at for sure maraming hindi makakarating. Pero we all know na kahit hindi natuloy yung anniv nung sunday, may purpose si God. He has a plan for all of these, kaya yung faith namin hindi pa rin nanghinawa sa Kanya.

Sunday, Sept. 27 saka lang kami nakaligo ni Elaine. Haha! Buti na lang may dala akong pangligo, dahil nga dapat eh papasok akong school nung saturday. Nanghiram na lang akong tshirt kay Elaine tapos yung white slacks ko na uniform na lang. Even though hindi tuloy yung anniv, sabi ni Pastor may service pa din daw kahit konti lang kami okay lang. Mga bandang 10 am, nagulat kami dahil ang dami pa ring tao ang dumating! WOW, nakakaoverwhelm yung feeling. Pero by that time bumaba na rin pala yung baha sa BBB kaya passable na. Ayun, napakaunforgettable experience talaga nito. GOD HAS A PURPOSE. If it weren't for the storm, hindi kami nakapag-pray just like what we did kahapon. Whew. God is still good all the time. :)

EXAMS.exams.EXAMS.

2009-09-02T13:17:00.000+08:00

It's midterms examination week but still I'm in front of the computer and ranting about my present life. Haha.

Oraaayyt. Here's news. We just had our church's monthly overnight prayer meeting last August 28. And... I dunno. I just gained new insight. Hahaha. :D

So we were in one room. (the children's ministry room) We laid some kutson there and laid comfortably with the airconditioning turned on. :D As usual, me and Elaine did our everyday chat which is in pabulong mode. Syempre we have some secrets na kaming dalawa lang nakakaalam. Haha. :) So while we talked about those random things, lagi kami pinupuna Kuya youth leader.(and the younger brother of "Japan Force".) Something like, "Uy ano yan, Pakilakasan naman. Ishare nyo naman yan!" in a joking manner. Eh naguusap nga kami ni Elaine na, baka iba na yung nafifeel ni youth leader. Halos lahat na ng churchmates namin, alam kung ano yung pinaguusapan namin. He might think na ayaw namin magshare sakanya. So ayun, pakiramdaman kami ni Elaine. "Eto na ikkwento na namin!" Lapit naman sya agad. Haha. Halatang excited kung ano man yung ish-share namin. Maya-maya, he said something.

"Alam nyo, may napapansin ako sa inyo. Pero hindi ko sasabihin kasi hindi ko pa naman naco-confirm."

So pinilit namin sya na sabihin whatever he knows about us. Ayaw pa nga talaga e. I dunno how he said this but he just said na may nabasa daw syang text KO. So I got nervous na kasi I always text "Japan Force." And his tone of voice is kinda serious na. Parang he's trying to console me pa nga na, "wala lang naman yung text.." cause maybe he can see the tension I feel at that very moment. HAHA. Then he checked his phone and showed my text message that I sent to Japan Force. I was shocked! My text was so casual and it has some "thanks" on it because of something. It's so casual that our youth leader said,

"nagtaka nga ako nung nabasa ko yan, kasi sa isip ko hindi naman nagtetext sakin ng ganyan si Paola. so naisip ko baka kay ---- yan."

Natutuwa ako to the fact that he's not mentioning his bro's name. That's one proof I can trust him with my secret! ^^, And as the youth leader, he advised something to me. I was touched when he said that,

"pag may mga ganyan, pwede nyo naman kami sabihan dahil parang magkakapatid na tayo dito sa church. andito kami as kuya nyo."

My feelings was so overwhelmed. I dunno. Haha. Maybe because I've been longing for that older brother figure, and I thank God because even though He hasn't given us a biological KUYA, He used my churchmates as a KUYA to us. How great! :)
He said lots of things, eto pa isang kinatutuwaan ko. He didn't say anyting negative about what I feel for "Japan Force." At first I was afraid to tell the truth to him because he might think na, "si Kuya, crush mo? eh ang tanda tanda na nun, etc." but his reaction was the total opposite. Feeling ko nga, boto pa sya sakin. LOLz! Just kidding. Marami pa kami napagusapan. Ang hirap kasi itype. Hahaha. So eto muna for now. I thank God for the chance to tell our youth leader the things I don't wanna tell before. :)

Still HIM.

2009-06-30T18:18:00.000+08:00

Lots of things happened this past week where classes was suspended because of H1N1 at school.

Aryt, lemme start with our Overnight Prayer Meeting at church this June 26. I finally shared my deep secret with Ate Joan! Hahaha. And I love how she was very supportive of me and she even said that, "I'm happy for you!" :D :D Kinukulit nya kasi ako, e. So I gave in and told her all of THAT. I didn't regret it anyway since I can see that I can really trust her to it and she even volunteered to pray for me for that matter. :) And yeah, I was shocked when she said that she noticed it before kaya madali nyang nahulaan kung ano yun. :P

After the OPM which finished at 2 in the morning, me, Elaine and some of my guy churchmates (whom I consider my older brothers) bonded at the church pulpit. They put some blankets and foams in there and we just sat there talking about random stuff. Well as guys it's inevitable that all you hear from them are jokes. :D After ~~whatever~~ hours (who knows, we were just talking and talking from 2 AM to 5:30 AM) Elaine asked something about her love problems to Kuya Denny. I know she's hoping that it would be heard by her crush (yknow who!) but he's already sleeping! Haha. I HATE the fact that when Kuya Denny gives examples, he gives out the real life truth. I know he already knows that I like "him" but he doesn't even keep it secret! Good thing he wasn't there. :D

Me and Elaine slept at 6 AM and after we woke up, Kuya Denny said that he knows something... oh well we already know what that is! That I have something for "Japan Force" but what I'm shocked about as in REALLY is that he already knew it ever since IT ALL STARTED! Whoa. How observant are my churchmates. Hahaha. I kinda worry about it though, but I hope the news wouldn't reach "Japan Force" (but I think he already knows) because if we are really for each other, we wouldn't rush things, right? I just want to wait on God's Will for me. :) :) :)

Kulit ni mommy!

2009-06-13T16:40:00.001+08:00

What she said just made me smile... a lot!
I love you mommy! Haha. :D

Ganito kasi yan. We were cleaning our room tapos nakita nya yung scrapbook ko then she browsed it. Eh di nagcomments sya sa mga pictures ko dun etc. etc. Yung bandang huling page andun yung picture namin dalawa ng crush ko which is my churchmate (na itatago na lang natin sa nickname na "Japan Force". Haha! :D Syempre my mother knows him since we are churchmates nga. Upon looking at our picture...

MOMMY: Uy si "Japan Force" to ah! sana boyfriend mo na lang si "Japan Force" no?
(i laughed and i was totally shocked ^^,)
ME: ano ba yun! (while laughing) baket?
MOMMY: Gusto ko sya para sayo eh!

WHOA. Haha. Actually hindi lang ito yung first time na nagsabi sya ng ganun about kay crush. Kwento ko rin yung nangyari before...

We were riding in the LRT kasi we went for a vacation sa Cavite, pauwi na kami dito sa Caloocan.

Sabi sakin ni mommy, pag nagka-boyfriend daw ako eh gusto nya Born Again Christian din. Then she asked:
MOMMY: may girlfriend na ba si "Japan Force"?
ME: *iling-iling* (meaning, none) :D
MOMMY: sana ligawan ka nun no?
ME: as usual, laughing while making that 'what-are-you-saying-you're-kidding-me-right' face (while in truth gustong gusto ko naman. haha)
MOMMY: dun ka na lang, nurse pa. pwede mo pa batukan yun, maliit kasi eh.

HAHA!
If only she knew na crush na ng anak nya ang gusto nya para sa kanya. :D

Nakakapagtaka nga. Wala naman kaming special relationship or something, hindi naman kami madalas magusap or what, normal churchmates lang kami. Saan kaya nakuha ni mommy yung ganung notions.
She may think na wala lang sakin yun pero those things.. really made me smile ng sobra sobra. :D

God is in charge.

2009-06-08T10:51:00.000+08:00

I've already read When God Writes Your Love Story. But in the past few days I browsed it again, and found myself much more inlove with the book than before. If I didn't read it the 2nd time, I wouldn't have understood some of the texts in it. So far, it's the best I've read among I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Saving My First Kiss, and Joyfully Single. (I sure have lots of books about topics like those^^,) It's really very inspiring, and encourages me(and everyone else) to keep myself pure until marriage. Sure, it sounds like a cliche, but it's hard to do.

I recommend every teenager like me (and those who are in their 20's who are waiting too) to grab a copy of this book. For sure you'll be blessed! :) And waiting will not be just like a tiresome thing to do. The season of singleness should be used to glorify Christ more. And before He introduce us to our future spouses, we should learn to find joy, hope, security in Christ alone. :)

HAPPY.

2009-06-07T17:20:00.000+08:00

Best news I've received for this week.
No classes until June 15. Extended vacation! Yay. Haha. I'm not yet really ready for school. *happyyyy!*
For now, I'll just keep myself busy and entertained with Neopets' Altador Cup. Some may think this game is for 2 year olds, but hey, who cares? Haha. I'm enjoying it. That's what matters. Haha :)

For real?

2009-06-01T10:14:00.001+08:00

Oh MY MY MY

I just heard A LOT of things. And I don't know whether to believe them or not. BTW, I heard it from his little bro, which gave me more reason to believe. Children rarely tell lies, right? What they tell is just a part of what they see. Wah. But still, im hoping it's not true. Just thinking about it makes me sad. Really. :(

New layout.

2009-05-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

Again.
This time it's PINK!
I'm not really into pink. But I just find the layout cute that's why I went beyond my tastes and changed it for the better. Lol. It's nice right?
Besides, we shouldn't be the same forever and ever.
(lol this is getting too far now)
:)

Tell me why.

2009-05-27T09:50:00.001+08:00

I MISS HIM.

I miss him a lot.

Why does everything have to change?

Why do they have to leave?

It's because of them that's why he's not his usual self anymore..

I miss the old you, JGF. :(

PRAYER!

2009-05-24T14:11:00.001+08:00

Sunday, May 24, 2009

So today is Sunday. Im still having a hangover from our Church's Youth retreat! In just 2 days and 1 night we stayed at a retreat house in Tagaytay. Super bitin nga eh! We were all hoping that we can stay for at least 3 days. :D Lots of things happened, i felt like hindi lang sya isang araw nangyari sa dami ng nangyari. Haha! But it was super FUN FUN FUN and BLESSED and EMPOWERED by God! :)

A while ago sa church, our group (in the youth retreat) was the champion for the cheering kase. So ayun, si Pastor made us perform sa worship service kanina. Haha! We were all conscious and such pero nung kahapon namin pinerform to, wala lang. Haha... Niloloko pa nila kami. Kulelat daw kasi kami sa mga games kaya nung pagdating sa cheering competition, kin-areer namin! Haha, dun kami bumawi. Even its break time, we spent it for practice. hahaha :)) At least, our efforts were paid off :D Syempre we made it for the Lord.. nae-LSS pa ako minsan sa cheer namin, lalo na yung part na solo na ni Bethany. Yung rap! HAHA..

Our retreat's theme was "Igniting the Passion for Jesus" and I was really FIRED UP for GOD! He's so great and greatly to be praised.. :)) I'm so happy I was able to join this youth retreat. If I didn't, I have missed half of my life! :D

YOUTH RETREAT NA :)

2009-05-21T13:39:00.000+08:00

Im excited for our youth retreat!
Departure time is tomorrow morning, 5 am. Early eh? It's cuz of the car.. color coding in Friday :P
I hope this youth retreat will be the way to reignite the passion to Jesus of the young people in our church.
I'm really excited! And I hope HE can come too. I heard that he has faith problems as of now, well I can see that because before he was really active in church activites.. but now he's just a Sunday attendee. I pray that this youth retreat will be the way so that he will become what he was before.. :)

I'm gonna pack my bags later.. Yaaay ^^,

ARCHU-LOVE :))

2009-05-19T12:10:00.000+08:00

LONG TIME NO UPDATE.

So this is my first post for the whole summer vacation. Haha. I have no summer classes and Im uber bored in the house. :/

I was really really happy last week. David Archuleta already arrived in the Philippines! But then we won't be able to attend their concert due to many reasons ^^, so I already conditioned myself that I won't be seeing him in person anymore as in really forever. Haha.. but then something good came up! Ava's mom, has a contact inside GMA and that person gave us tickets for David Archuleta's guesting in SIS! I only received the news Wednesday night(Thursday morning is his guesting) and I was so excited I couldn't even sleep. Lol :D

The next morning, we arrived at GMA at almost past 8am. There are lots of people there already! And after a few(well, it's more like many)minuts, finally they already let us in. Inside the filipino singers like Kyla, Harry Santos, and the others are already rehearsing. We didn't see Archie until the show! So when the show started, we were very excited and the hosts already welcomed him. He's uber cute! UWAAAH :D:D I just hate the part that everyone there is so strict with him. One fan asked for an autograph signing for David's album but then someone hid it until the end of the show. Well anyway! It doesn't really matter.. what matters is that I already saw him in person, even though i wasn't able to attend the concert! :D

DAVID ARCHULETA IS LOOOOOVE. :))

Di kami bitter.

2009-01-15T18:58:00.000+08:00

Thursday.

Whatta boring day. Mmm, i think "bitter" is the word that better describes what i'm feeling right now. Haha. So, we had a quiz at Zoology in the morning. Laboratory time after! Yknow what? I'm super depressed when Elaine told us that they saw Bry pass by at the FDT building that morning. Kasi naman, we exert lotsa efforts just to see him but then sila, effortless. Tapos nababalewala pa kasi minsan, we don't even catch a glimpse of him. Haay, how emo. But that is what i'm really feeling right now. :(

May kinwento pa sila kahapon samin. Na kagabi daw, quarter to 7 na dumating. Tapos they saw him sa gate, nagpapansin pa nga daw sa kanila. Ah basta, I can't explain. I just feel sad lang talaga.. as in. Kahapon din, they saw him sa taas ng FDT. Nakatitig pa din sa kanila. Argh.. lungkot lungkutan effect talaga. I dunno, ayoko pairalin ang selfishness ko. What right do I have to claim him as mine? Wala naman diba.

Sige na nga. Hanggang dito na lang. Baka kung ano pa masabi ko. Lol. I just let go of my emotions through this thing. :]

Crush. crush. crush.

2008-12-08T19:12:00.001+08:00

Naglalabasan na naman mga crushes namin sa school. Toinks.
Una, si "minsan-lang-cute" Venerick Justiniano of College of Nursing who's really really (as in really) good at volleyball. He's even the MVP last year! Grabe. Galing talaga niya. Lalo na sa pag-serve. Woohooo. We don't care na nga kung naririnig nya kaming nagchcheer sa kanya kanina. Haha. Naeencourage naman namin siya. ^^, Nakakatulong pa kami. O diba. Nahihiya nga ko e! Kasi tumitingin sya samin. Siguro nasa isip nya, "eto pala yung mga nagchcheer sakin" wahaha. Nanalo tuloy sila! =D "GO NUMBER 1!!!" At buti na lang, kakampi namin yung college nila sa mga divsion thingy. Kaya nung nanonood din kami nung laban ng college namin, andun din sya for support. Waaaa! =D

Next naman si Clarke Bolintiam ng College of Dentistry. Volleyball din. yiheee. Wala lang. Todo picture kami sa kanya at cheer din. Kahit kaharap na namin sya, we shout "GO CLARKE!! NUMBER 77!!"

And lastly! The cutest of all. Wahaha. Bryan Carpio of Medical Technology. Basketball naman sya. Wuuuuooh. Dami namin pics sa kanya. Hehehe. Buti nga, pag nakakashoot sya ng basketball may mga fans din sya other than us. So sumasabay na lang kami! Hindi halata. haha. Uber cute nya talaga. Look alike ni Robi Domingo. Yiiiiee.

Sa ngayon sila pa lang eh. Yung iba pa namin crush di namin mahagilap. Wahaha. Lalo na si JM at Young. San kaya yung mga yun? Heeeeeheeeee.

2nd sem.

2008-11-22T11:25:00.000+08:00

Welcome 2nd sem. =D

So far, everything's well. Our prof's are okay naman, well, maybe except for Biochemistry. Haha. And we have a new major, SOCIAL PSYCH. I'm totally lovin' it! It's so nice to learn something new about people's behavior in groups and such.

We also have a new PROSPECT. NYAHAHAHA!
Nung last sem si Alvin Young.
Ngayon may nabingwit na naman. Lolz. JM De Leon from the College of Nursing. Gaaaah. He's uber cute. He's even tolerating us kaya lalo tuloy namin sya nagiging crush. Haaaaay. =D

That's all for now. Haha. Imma post na lang ulit pag di na busy. Lol.

Sembreak! Yehey.

2008-10-05T17:01:00.000+08:00

Finally. It's sembreak. I've been waiting for this. Hahaha. The last week of classes was moving very slow for me. It's like someone pulling the time back! Haha. But then, sa wakas, it's here. =D

And oooh. I was sssooooo JOYFUL kanina sa church. I saw JOVEL FULO. My JOVEL. Hahaha! Ganon? I dunno, we were practicing for the music ministry just before the service when I saw him sneak in the back and sat down there. My heart beat was pounding so hard to the point that i couldn't concentrate on my singing anymore. Hahaha! Okay, i was a bit exaggerated but i was really really very very nervous kanina. =p

I love the way he dresses. Napakaunique nya, he looks good without putting too much effort. ^^, Mukha nga siyang dalandan with pineapple juice kanina eh. Haha. His shirt is yellow then his pants are green. Stylish, huh? He really looked good kanina. Can't stop staring at him. Ow man. Haha. =D

Lord, can't he just be the one? I'm willing to wait. Even years.C:

Sunday satisfaction.

2008-06-29T19:37:00.000+08:00

Whoooo.
Saya.
Sana lagi na lang Sunday.
Walang iniisip na problema. Concentration ko eh nakatuon lang kay God. Sa Church. Sana lagi na lang ganon.
Pero hindi pwede eh.
We have to move on to reality.
Hayyz. :C

Nyahahaha.

2008-06-25T19:22:00.000+08:00

Nakakatawa na lang.

"Vengeance is mine, I will repay," says the Lord. Romans 12.. something. Haha.
Lord bahala ka na po.
I entrust this to You. =D

Backstabbers...

2008-06-11T19:58:00.000+08:00

"One thing I learned about backstabbers is that they only get powerful when you get your back turned."

Soooo true! Grabe. Kamusta naman ang matagal kong hindi pagpopost. Hahaha. Ayon. Pasukan na naman. Alam naman ng lahat na nagkagalit kami nila Ate Yna. I dunno if that's really "nagkagalit" cuz we don't respond to her naman... wala lang. Nakakasawa na din kasi laging isipin yun. Tapos kanina, akala ko ok nang hindi kami nagpapansinan cuz wala naman siyang pagpaparinig na ginagawa. Yun pala eh she's saying things behind me na pala. Hay naku.... really hard to trust people these days.. =D Ayon sa aming source(haha), sabi daw niya nung nagrerecite ako ng kung ano ang advantages and disadvantages of being the youngest child sa psych class, "naku wala namang advantages yan puro disadvatages puro sakit lang sa ulo." I was like, whaaat? (Kilala mo ba ang family ko para magjudge ka ng ganyan?) Nyahahaha. Nakakatawa na lang eh. Siya na tong nagmumukhang loser sa kakasalita ng kung anu-anong mga bagay pag nakatalikod ako. Basta. Ayoko nang pumatol sa kanya at lumaki pa tong gulo. I admit that when we were still ~~friends~~, ang taas ng tingin ko sa kanya. Like she was our ate and everything that helps us anytime when we're in need. Tapos sa isang misunderstanding lang at pride, biglang nawala lahat yon? Haaaaaay. Basta ako Im willing to make up with her especially if she's willing too. Ayoko namang mamilit. =D

When God writes my Love Story :)

2007-12-17T20:29:00.000+08:00

Long time no update. I've been very busy these past few days, kaya ayun, I didn't have the time to update this bloggie...Nabulok na siguro 'to. Oh look, spiders and cobwebs everywhere.. with the agiw pa. Haha. ^-^

Oh.. Christmas is approaching very fast! But I can't feel it yet. Parang, October pa lang. Haha.

Today is a not-so-tiring day. I went to school at 10:30 AM. And, andun pala sila naghihintay sakin. Haha. Nagpa-late pa talaga ko. =p Review time for Polci! Today is our prelims kasi dun. Nako, I know nothing pa naman bout sa Current Events! Buti na lang, the exam is not so hard as I expected. ^-^

We went to Love Love after school. Watched Forrest Gump. We need it for our SA kasi. Hehe. Ayun. Super haba ng movie. But still nice. Nothing much really happened, except for the usual kulitan, tawanan ng super lakas. Hahahaha!

Anyway, what's with my post title?
Wala lang. I just saw a book with that title. It made me curious nga e. Heehee. I just want kasi to overcome this feeling that I'm left out in the world(because I'm a NBSB). I know God has plans for me! He said that, "He has made all things BEAUTIFUL in his time." Nothing to worry about, right? I just have to be patient and put my trust in him... :)

7th Anniversary of our church^-^

2007-10-07T17:05:00.000+08:00

I'm so happy!
Haha.
Today's the 7th anniversary of our church.
And ang saya ko talaga.Haha.
God has really given me the spirit of joy this day. :)
The service started at almost 12 o clock. Then we sang our songs, tapos nagsalita yung isang pastor. Ang kulit nga niya eh! Haha. Talagang ang lively namin kanina^-^

And another reason why I'm happy?
It's because of..
Hahaha.
Nakakatuwa siya. Naaaliw lang ako. Hehe. ;p
I hope I'll see him again;)

Just spreading the happiness peepz!
God bless us all:)
Heehee!

^Life has been very UnfaiR for me these past few days^

2007-10-05T20:56:00.000+08:00

Oh life..
Have I done anything wrong to you?
Why do you keep on doing this to me?

Don't I have the right to be happy? Even for a short period of time..
waah..
i feel so empty inside..
so...
depressed..
i wonder what's happening to me?
To the people around me?

Everything seems to be in disorder...

:-(

Hayyz. Buhay.

2007-07-30T17:56:00.000+08:00

NAKAKATAMAD MAG-TYPE. Hehe. Ang tamad ko talaga.

Kamusta naman ang araw ngayon? Gawsh Super boring. History, Filipino, walang English. Nung uwian andun kami sa lib. Hehe. Andun nga si kuya SA eh, nasa harapan ng walang kamatayang computer. Nakakainis talaga tumingin yun! Kung nakakasugat lang ang pagtingin nya, malamang wala na ko sa mundong ito. Haha.. Eh naman kasi nu, nakaka-deadz ang kanyang look. Harhar! Kamusta naman!
Nanggugulo nga ko kay Pearl kasi nagttype sya. Hehe. Walang lang talaga ko magawa! E di ayun. Si kuya SA ang serious magcomputer. Tapos nakita ko si Kuya Aaron! Yihee! Ang cute-ness nya talaga. Kaso loner. Mag-isa ba naman sa library habang nagaaral. Di ko kaya yun. Hehe! Ayun, wala lang. Tingin-tingin lang ako sa kanya. Haha! Di ko naman makausap kasi we're not even close! Acquaintances lang kami. :) Pero kung close ko lang yun baka sinamahan ko pa. wahaha!
Wala ba syang mga friends at madalas syang nagiisa? Dapat di nila iniiwan yun ah! (Galit ka na nyan?) Haha...bakit kaya. Na-cu-curious lang kasi ako. Kung classmates lang talaga kami lagi ko sya sasamahan. Haha. Saka makulit naman sya nung nakausap ko sya nung GA, pero bakit ganon?!?!?!?!

^^^^Bumabagabag sa aking isipan. Hahaha......

Si Kuya S.A. o si Kuya Aaron? Nyahaha..

2007-07-20T17:56:00.000+08:00

Ang kire nu..haha,.. dala-dalawa ang crush..
Friday..gosh.. wala masyadong nagyari today..hinaggard lang kami sa PE..pero kilig pa rin ako kay Kuya SA!
Ganito kasi yan.. magpapaxerox kasi kami sa library kaya pumasok kami sa loob..ayun, andun sya at sya ang baggage counter..haha..dumiretso na kami sa loob ng library..walang binigay samin na number kasi wala naman kaming pinalagay na bag. taz ayun, nung papalabas na kami, si Jam parang may inabot sa kanya(kay Kuya SA)Eh wala naman talaga.. di napatingin si Kuya..sabi nya, "ano yun pauso?" Pero naka-smile sya! Tapos biglang nag-yahoo! Alam mu yun? Yung kila bayani agbayani..yung pose nilang yahoong-yahoo.. gumanun si kuya SA.. nyahaha..!!Nagulat nga ko eh. Hindi naman kami close! Eh di tumawa kami ni Jam.. tapos sabi ko, "ang panget!" Sabi naman nya sakin, "ano sabi mo, panget?" tumingin ako sa kanya...sabi ko.."hindi joke lang cute nga eh!" Haha! Tapos naka-smile lang sya sakin...Hay..ayun.. lumabas na kami ng library... todo kilig naman ako..haha...gusto ko sya maka-close talaga! But i don't even know his name! Mukha syang makulit..pero may times na nagiging suplado. Hay. :)

Kapagod ang PE.........
That's all..
Hehe..

Psychology Society General assembly..

2007-07-13T19:33:00.000+08:00

July 11, 2007

This time totoo na. Hehe. Di kasi natuloy dati..
Masaya naman! Kasi madaling pakisamahan ang mga higher years ng Psych.
Anyway.
Crush ko si "ano" haha. Basta. Ka-teammate ko sya. We are the blue team. Yihee! Kakainis nga eh. Di kami nanalo. Hmp. Eh kami naman talaga dapat. Hehe! Joke. Sumakit nga throat ko sa kakatawa eh! Parang lalabas na yung esophagus ko. Harhar. Kawawa naman si Kuya Maron, kasi lagi sya napagttripan sa group namin. Pero masaya talaga! Consolation prize namin, 2 Frutos. Haha!

Di ko nga ineexpect na ganito ang mangyayari ngayon eh. Kasi i thought magiging boring. Hehe. Masaya talaga. Sana marami pang ganito. Gusto ko maka-close yung higher years eh. Lalo na si si....~~Kuya A.~~ Haha. Mabait pala yun. Mukha lang talagang tahimik. Sobra. Mukha pang suplado, pero madali naman palang kausapin. Naguusap nga kami dun habang nagaactivity eh! Yeeehaaa! Kilig to the max. Hahaha...

July 12 and 13, 2007
Thursday, 12. Bago kami mag-Psych at habang Psych namin, dun sila Kuya A sa zoo lab. hahaha..si todo tingin naman ako. Haha
Friday, 13. Pagkatapos ng PE namin, dun pala sila sa FDT106! Woohoo! Hahaha.. may ginagawa nga silang activity kanina eh, mga naka-blindfold kasi sila...tumitingin-tingin nga sya, siguro na-re-recognize ako nun. Syempre nagkakausap naman kami anu nung GA! Hay, gusto ko tlaga sya maka-close. Haha. Taz ayun. Naka-blondfold sya. Sabi ko nga kila Ava, ~~"kiss ko na habang naka-blindfold.. sabay takbo."~~ Hahaha... Kung pwede lang.

So that's all... for now..
Hehehe
Ang mga crushness..nagkalat...

2007-07-10T20:35:00.000+08:00

GENERAL ASSEMBLY NG PSYCH SOC BUKAS. Hahaha.
Wala lang. Nakakatamad eh!
Parang ayoko tuloy umattend. Hehe. Pero aattend ako..
Grabe, kamusta naman ang pressure ngayong nalalapit na ang prelims..
Chemistry palang pamatay na eh..
Hay.

2007-07-09T18:56:00.000+08:00

GOSH

ano ba tong nararamdaman ko..
waah.

Ito ba ang resulta ng hindi pagkakaroon ng boyfriend? Nagkakaron na yata ako ng inferiority complex. Haha.

Oo nga masarap maging single, pero hindi ko maiwasang mainggit sa iba na meron na.. it's not naman na im rushing myself to have a bf.. i just want to feel that im loved by someone, and ang saya nung feeling pag at the end of the day, someone will call or text you na pinapaalam sayo kung gano ka nya cine-care...

Hay.
I hate this..

Bday ni Lalos:)

2007-06-18T19:06:00.000+08:00

Haha. Just sharing our pic. That's Carlos' birthday at Jollibee West av last June 8. Hay, busog! Haha. Anyway, can you find me there? I'm wearing pink stripes. hanap-hanap. Circle if you already found me. Harhar. Wala lang.

emote time. haha.

2007-06-18T18:10:00.000+08:00

"Why do I feel this way?
I wanna ignore my feelings for him, but just one smile, makes my heart soft. Nawawala ang galit ko sa kanya. Arggh!! Ang hirap ma-inlove! Especially if that person don't love you back. I don't know if he loves me too, i don't know if he's sincere sa mga ginagawa niya sakin. Pero kahit na! I was hurt by what he did to me. Pinaasa niya ko, he makes me feel that I'm special to him. He even lied that he don't have a girlfriend! Meron pala. Kung hindi ko pa makikita, hindi pa niya aaminin. Hay naku. "

After I read that entry(which i "typed"), the memories came back to me again... it fell afresh on me. The pain which i felt on that moment, on that time, parang naramdaman ko ulit. Hay, Jorenz, bakit ba ang lakas pa rin ng impact mo sakin everytime i read about that past? OhMy. I'm starting to forget about him na nga eh, kasi hindi naman na kami nagkikita, pero biglang bumalik nung nabasa ko yan.

Here's my one last shout-out to him..(i just hope that this is the last..)
"Wherever you are, i hope and pray that you're happy... now that i'm not on your surroundings anymore to annoy you again.. i just want to thank you for all those happy memories WE've shared(even though I think i'm the only one happy) Still I thank you.. you made the 3 months of my fourth year life complete. At least, 3 months din yun. Hehe. Haii. I'm really corny talaga.. kadiri. haha. Again, thank you, and i hope maka-graduate ka. Hehe."

Ayan! Nalabas na ang aking mga emosyon. Haha. Na-expose na naman ang CORNY side ko. EEew. Haha.

Happy birthday sakin! hehe

2007-03-10T09:44:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday again... parang kelan lang oh! Tapos birthday ko na naman..

Ang happy ko nga pala ngayon... kasi pinapansin na ko ni James.. hehe! At least hindi na sya naiilang sakin. Not unlike dati, super iwasan kami sa isa't isa.. happy talaga kasi ngayon friend ko na ulit sya.. kaso talagang medyo naiilang pa ko eh! I still get shy whenever im around him. Syempre nakakahiya yung mga ginawa ko sa kanya nung 3rd year kami eh... sana lang nakalimutan niya na yun! (",

Anyway! Hanggang dito na lang............. Nood na lang kayo ng MTV ng MAGBALIK ng CALLALILY! hehe!

KILIG!!!!

2007-02-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

Whooooo!! The cast of O' Moises went to our school yesterday, Feb 12. Grabe, They're so cute! Hahahaha!! Especially Mr. Justin Untalan.... im so excited na tuloy to watch their play!

Nakakainis nga lang, naabutan lang namin sila nung pauwin na sila.. as in yung papalabas na ng school namin. Sabi nila samin, "Nood kayo ng O Moises ah!" Taz ayun.. nakipag-shake hands pa ko kay Justin.. hahahaha!! AKA Lu-Jen sa play nilang Chi-noi... (",)

So... nood rin kayo ha! Sa St. Paul Fleur de Lis auditorium.. haha.. magpromote raw ba?
Antabayanan nyo na lang yung mga ipo post kong pics here...

Muah!

I don't wanna fall to pieces

2007-02-10T21:59:00.000+08:00

Hay...

It's the love month again.. to tell the truth, i hate FEBRUARY! Im just sick of watching people who are so sweet. It's like, "Why are they like that? Why do they have their special someone when I don't have?"

Oh. So that's the reason why I hate February. Can someone play TUMATAKBO by Mojofly for me? It's the song of my life.. hahaha!!

Tumatakbo
Mojofly

Laging bigo, laging sawi sa pag ibig
Minamalas o kay sakit
May balat nga ba ako sa pwet
Mabuti pa ang tindera sa aming kanto
Nakakaingit TL ang sweet nila ng Kaniyang nobyo
Gusto ko lang maranasan umibig, Tamaan ni kupido
Gusto ko lang maranasan ang langit
Tumibok muli ang puso ko

Tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na ako Ng panahon

Di na nagbago bawat araw pare pareho parang kahapon
Tumatakbo ang oras

May birthday cake ka nga Ngunit wala naman kandila
May christmas tree na malupet Wala naman dekorasyong pansabit
Sadyang ganyan ang aking buhay Walang kasing tamlay
Ayoko sanang tumandang nagiisa
Tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na ako Ng panahon
Di na nagbago bawat araw pare pareho parang kahapon
Tumatakbo ang oras
Tumatakbo ang oras
Tatanggapin na lang ba ang malupit Na tadhana
o kayay Tatanggapin na lang ba na akoy Sadyang hindi pinagpala
Tigilan na ang drama
Punasan na ang luha .....

Aaa... awitin mo... at isasayaw ko...

2006-12-15T20:38:00.000+08:00

Whee!!Teacher's day is today! Soo happy nga eh! Ang cute ng aming get-up.. haha! Mga pang-80's kuno..sayang at wala kaming cam na dala!!
Kami kasi mga representative ng 4th year.. so isasayaw namin yung "awitin mo at isasayaw ko" song basta i don't know the title... nakakainis nga si Ma'm Almazar eh, nakapila na ko kasi we're the next to perform, bigla ba naman akong pinaalis! Kesyo hindi raw pwede yung naka-sandals.. hay naku!! Buti na lang Mark Gabriel is up to the rescue!! He lent me his rubber shoes.. so ayun, OK na...
Di ayun... kami na magpe-perform.. ang dami ngang nagsisigawan eh! Even though mainit, tumataas yung energy ko because of the people watching us!! Kaya naka-smile na lang ako.. (eh si "Batang Maynila" kaya, pinapanood ako?) hehe... Actually I wanna ask him kung OK lang ba yung sayaw namin, kaya lang lagi niyang kasama si "Barbz" eh i don't wanna chat with him pag kasama niya yung girl na yun...
Eto pa..nasa corridor ako nun, eh naka-shades ako tapos nakatitig ako kay "Batang Maynila".. di hindi niya nakikita kung saan ako nakatingin.. sometimes nahuhuli ko siyang tumitingin sa'kin... pero inaalis rin niya agad! Siguro baka isipin niya nakatingin ako... baka mahuli ko sya.. it's too late!!!!!!!!!
Oh anyweiz enough of that pa-tweetums posts... binati ko si Ma'm Arceo ng "happy teacher's day".. tapos sabi niya sa'kin akala raw niya hindi raw ako makabasag-pinggan... hahaha!! Tapos nung sumayaw raw ako nagulat siya... sakin lang daw nakatingin si Mam.. haha!! Bakit? Nakakapanibago ba na sumasayaw ako?!?
Sige na nga hanggang dito na lang muna.... muah!!

Oh please make it real..

2006-11-28T09:34:00.000+08:00

Hey there... long time no post again... so many things happened this last few days!!
First of all, I had my first boyfriend. I used the word "had" kasi past na yun eh, wala na kami today. He's the one na tinutukoy kong torpe. Pero ewan ko ba, naging kami on November 10.. i don't know what to do coz im so nervous! *so ganito pala ang feeling?* ayun, happy naman..

Then after that, ang daming nag balita sakin na meron daw girlfriend yun na iba? Kasi I'm always asking him about his ex na kasama niya lagi. He always say that friends na lang sila nun, Eto naman ako, naniniwala.. hanggang one day may nag-confirm na sila nga. Paano, nasa waiting shed silang dalawa LANG ng girl.. tapos ang sweet pa daw... actually I saw them too myself, kaya lang nasa malayo ako eh. Di ayun na, inaantay ko yung friend ko sa kinatatayuan ko na nakita ko silang dalawa. Pagtingin ko, nasa harap ko na siya! He asked me, "Paola galit ka na naman ba?" I just laughed na lang, even though yah, masakit.. "Ha? Ewan ko.." Taz ayun, umalis na kami.. I have this feeling na sila nga..

On November 13, nagusap kami dun malapit sa classroom namin. YUn, pinilit ko syang paaminin. "Kayo ni Abegail no?"
Sya: "Hindi ha, friends lang kami nun"
Me: "Friends? Sus talaga lang ah. May nakakita sa inyo eh."
Sya: "sino?"
Me: "Basta, yung pinsan ko, di mo kilala."
Sya: "Sino, si Raissa?"
Me: "Oo. O ano, kayo talaga nun no?"
Sya: (medyo matagal..) "oo"

Then minutes of silence........

Lumapit na mga friends ko para tumulong. Ayun, Finally we have decided.... wala na kami.

Ouch, right, pero i need to accept it.

I know mas marami pa dyan ang naghihintay. Oh well, this guy's not worth my love.

I still love to be single!!!!

bored as hell.

2006-11-03T00:49:00.000+08:00

Awww i wanna go to school!
I'm so bored here, i have nothing to do. I just sit in front of my computer everyday!! And i hate it!

Why do I feel this way?
I wanna ignore my feelings for him, but just one smile, makes my heart soft. Nawawala ang galit ko sa kanya. Arggh!! Ang hirap ma-inlove! Especially if that person don't love you back. I don't know if he loves me too, i don't know if he's sincere sa mga ginagawa niya sakin. Pero kahit na! I was hurt by what he did to me. Pinaasa niya ko, he makes me feel that I'm special to him. He even lied that he don't have a girlfriend! Meron pala. Kung hindi ko pa makikita, hindi pa niya aaminin. Hay naku.

I finally found the one who'll heal my broken heart..

2006-10-14T12:02:00.000+08:00

Wala lang.. i think i finally found him!! He makes me happy. It's the first time I felt this.. and it feels like heaven..

He makes me feel special. He makes me feel secured, he makes me feel loved!! Pero anong gagawin ko? He's so torpe. Puro sya paramdam. He can't say it straight na he likes me. Puro sya pasabi lang. What will I DO??

He's so CUTE!!!

2006-09-22T21:02:00.000+08:00

Today is the Science Jingle Contest Day. *kakainis nga eh, di kasali section namin* And as usual, we're loitering sa campus.. when we saw section III-1 practicing for their jingle.. at kasali si Carlos! hehe. He's so cute pala sumayaw? At first when he saw Elizabeth, I thought he will not dance. But I was wrong! He's an excellent dancer. Lambot ng katawan. haha! He's really todo-bigay! They're dancing "Don Romantiko"...

So ayun na, later nalaman na ang results.. they didn't get in! So bad... but it's okay.. in my heart he's still the number ONE!! woohhooo!!

CHANGE TOPIC.. do you know? I hate my section. I hate my classmates. I hate everything!! Everyone's so plastic. They're nice at you but when you turn your backs on them they will backfight you. Why do they have to be like that? I hate 'em, especially CHARMAINE. She's the gangsta type of girl(jologs, i think) which i hate. Yesterday her mother came to school, pinapatawag kasi ng adviser namin, syempre my teacher called me too coz im the attendance monitor. Our adviser showed Charmaine's mother her attendance, and totoo namang marami talaga syang absent(and cutting.. oh well sometimes)!! Biruin mo? After a while, Charmaine said, "Uy Paola bakit andami ko namang cutting? Ayos ka a!"
ME: "Ewan ko.."(im still trying to be nice)
HER:"Ang galing pala nun e! Ang dami kong absent, nagpapalakas ata kayo eh! Next time pag pumunta ulit mama ko dito tapos marami ulit absent yan, HUMANDA KA SAKIN!"
ME:(no comment na lang..)

She's so nakakainis diba? Is it my fault that she has many absences? I'm just doing my job as the attendance monitor. I ain't doing anything wrong. She's the one who's wrong. At di nya ko matatakot, no. Even though i know that she's in a fraternity. So what?!

When i came home, kinwento ko yan kay Mom.(i'm kinda open to my mom pagdating sa school life) And she's so angry! She said, "di ko nga kayo hinahayaan makagat ng lamok tapos gaganyanin kayo" aww.. i was so touched!! She really loves me!!! Susulatan nga daw nila yun eh, kaya lang pinilit ko sya na wag na lang, coz lalong lalaki ang gulo.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day....
Muah..

Tumatakbo ang oras, naiiwan na ako..

2006-09-14T20:59:00.000+08:00

"tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na ako ng panahon..
di na nagbago araw-araw pare-pareho parang kahapon.."

Bakit ganun? These previous days, my friends talk about nothin' but BOYS. BOYFRIENDS. And i'm sick of it!!!

For me, there's nothing wrong in without having a boyfriend!! I just can't help it,.. I get envious sometimes...

Anyway, I saw James in the school... not new for me, I guess.. but what's new is, I saw him and Juvalyn together!! I thought break na sila... and then Shiella told me that James is courting Juvalyn AGAIN... she also told me that he has a girlfriend at our neighboring school(Marphelia is the name..)...
He's planning to two-time Juvalyn and Marphelia!! What the..?

I thought he's different from all the guys i know. But i'm wrong..... so wrong.. it really hurts...

I owe it all to you..

2006-09-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

I have a new crush!

His name's JOSE CARLOS ONG..

a cute guy with eyeglasses... he doesn't look nerdy for me though... in fact, eyeglasses are bagay sa kanya, SUPER...!

Oh, he's only 3rd year highschool. Haha! (Child Abuse?) So what? He's only my crush. Age doesn't matter rin naman. And i'm only 14 years old. Dapat 2nd year highschool pa lang ako. Baka nga he's older than me eh.!

They always stay in the Library pag vacant namin, 4-5:00 pm. Dun na rin ako tatambay!!!!

hahaha... wala lang.. ;-p

2006-08-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

Oh My GULAY!!!

I changed my layout again in my bloggie. It's cute naman diba? hehe.

But the problem was... i accidentally erased all my LINKS!!! Silly Me!!!!!!!

So whoever visits me, please MESSAGE me and post all your Blog URLs again. THANK YAH!!!!

Busy, busy days.

2006-08-20T17:53:00.000+08:00

Hiyee! Long time no post. I'm just so busy with school, y'know? And we have to practice our sabayang bigkas almost everyday, WHOLE DAY! It's worth it, though. I know we'll win. hahaha!!!

Hey! You know what? I have a new inspiration in school.
Heehee!! His name is Michael Beltran. He's not that cute though. Wala lang, I just like him! No questions asked, basta i like him.

Oh, the restroom is calling me. Excuse me for a while, peeps!! Ta-da!!

BAD TRIP!

2006-07-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

BAD TRIP!

I don't know kung bakit badtrip ako. Basta. Naku. Can't explain this feeling...BAKIT NGA BA?!

Bakit ganun? Napa-isip-isip ako kagabi. We're already 4th year highschool, and yet, hanggang ngayon di pa rin nya ko pinapansin. Ano to, walang katapusang hindi pansinan? Until college? Shocks, di ko yata kaya yun. I miss our friendship, the laughters we shared... di na ba maibabalik yun? Actually i'm not wishing for him to love me, i just want to be his friend again. Yun lang, happy na ko! Wala na kong hihingilin pa kung matutupad yun.

Hay naku, bakit ba ang gulo-gulo mo. *SIGH*

Quit playing games with my heart..

2006-06-13T21:32:00.000+08:00

I'm tired of everything!

I don't know what to do with a guy who gives me mixed signals.. as in i hate it.. ok lang na maging frank sya sa'kin, at least malalaman ko ang nasa mind nya! Kesa naman we play guessing games! What does he think of me?????!?!?!

Anyway, naninibago ako sa kanya kanina. He's makulit and friendly(kay Grace ha, hindi sa'kin. Kelan nga ba?), tapos nung Science namin he asked us kung sang room kami. Pupunta daw sila! Syempre me naman, with kilig effect. Heehee! I thought hindi nila tototoohin yung pagdaan, tapos pagtingin ko sa pinto, Yikes! They're here!! As usual, kami dedmahan, habang pinapansin nya sila Cindy and others...

Ayun. Change topic! Nga pala naninibago ako kay Francis... he's kind to me now na ha! Siguro nag-mature na rin ang isip(hay finally..)...

I'm waiting for July 2! Coz it's Benneth's bday na! Makakasama ko na naman si James... kasi invited sya..(eh ano ngayong kung makakasama di naman kayo naguusap??!) Oh well...

That's it....